There are telephone poles that line up a long distance. The electricity has an easy time jumping from pole to pole. The further you go down the line, the telephone poles seem to become further and further apart. The electricity seems to hesitate as it looks to jump to the next pole. Will it jump or will it stay where it is?
Some days are harder than others. Some seem to be naturally easy. My time in Uganda has seemed more challenging than what the last couple of months have been.
I guess that is what I get for praying for a challenging month.
It just was not the way that I was hoping to be challenged in.
I have been counting down the days.
I have been dreaming of coming home so that I can see Karissa before she gives birth to Paisley.
I want to support Kellie in her basketball games and during this time in her life, being the Big Sister that I am.
I want to sleep in my own bed where it is quiet.
I want to be in a room where I do not wake up to someone peeing in the pee bucket in the middle of the room in the middle of the night because the ferocious “Sandlot” dogs are going to attack at any moment.
I want to snuggle with my Mama on the couch while watching a movie.
I have wanted to go skiing with my Dad.
I wanted my time in Uganda to be challenging in my spirit. Not to be challenging in living in community or towards the people. I wanted to grow spiritually!
Looking back at the month, I have been challenged the whole time. I just did not see it. I did not choose to look.
This month I have learned what it means to choose in. Choosing in has been a theme for my team, to “choose in” wherever we are, whatever the circumstance. Last month in Vietnam, it was really easy for me to be so joyful and overflowing with love. This month, I have been on the other side of the love scale. As soon as I stepped into Africa, something happened in my spirit. It was no longer easy to love my teammates, to want to be with them, to find joy in their smiles and to want to spend time with them.
I have to choose in where I am, no matter the lack of sleep that has happened. I have to choose in because ultimately this is where God has me. I am so thankful that He has chosen me to come here and live life in Uganda. I am so thankful that my family that consists of Chip, Amanda, Tyler, Ga’Nene, Michael, and Alison surround me all day long. I am thankful for the encouragement and support that we give each other. I am choosing in.
I am choosing in all areas of life. I want to make the things that seem small to the world important in my life. I want to be present and see the smile on the child’s face, I want to be in the presence of the Lord, I want to give Him my all, I want to serve by washing the dishes in the dark, I choose to let the Sprit lead me, I choose to chase Babidia and Nakato instead of having “me time”. I choose in.
There is not much time left on the Race. We are not promised tomorrow. So I want to make the most of everything that is given to me.
At the beginning of the month, I presented the team with coming up with a challenge for themselves. I came up with praying bold prayers. I am choosing to let the Lord take control and for me to look to Him for all things. I cannot do things on my own. I do not know why I keep trying to take back control of my own life, but I know that God is good all the time. All the time, God is good. That is His nature.
The electricity jumps to the next pole. The poles represent God’s glory. The previous months have been easy to jump from pole to pole, from God’s glory to glory. These next months are going to be challenging because His glory seems further away and further apart, but know that you can jump. Know that God is faithful and that He is present all the time.
This was prophesied to me at the beginning of the month at debrief. I did not understand what this meant because I did not know what it would mean to not see God’s glory. This month has honestly been challenging because I have not felt His presence or been thankful for a lot of things. But, am I always going to have God as a feeling? Am I going to let my emotions control if God is alive or not? No! God is always present. He is omnipresent. That is who God is. Am I going to choose to be patient? Am I going to choose to see Him? Am I going to choose to wait on Him? You better believe it. I am going to choose Him. I am going to press in.
