Definition of Insanity according to Albert Einstein: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome”
Well, I guess that solves that then. I am officially Insane.
I pray and check my donation page. Then I pray again and check my donation page. Then I pray some more and wait a few days and then check my donation page again.
I have been doing the same thing for about the last 4 weeks. Guess what? NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Guess what? I AM STILL GOING TO KEEP PRAYING.
I figure I have two options at this point.
1) Worry and freak out that I am no where close to my goal. I could be defeated, feel like its impossible to come up with 6000 in the next 30 days. I could try to come up with a reason to tell everyone why I am not going on this missions trip instead of admitting to them that I couldn’t come up with the funds.
2) Surrender the thoughts, worries, and doubts, and leave it in God’s hands. Realize that I have no control over what happens, and Believe in the impossible that My God will come through.
Can I be honest?
I have been choosing the first option. Because what normal Human wouldn’t be worried? (excuse all you super spiritual people…You can just stop reading now)
One night I felt so defeated, I literally had my face on the ground crying out to God. Asking, pleading with Him that He would come through. In my quiet time the following morning I began reading Malachi 3:10
“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, and try me now in this,” says the LORD of Hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it”
And then I read Matthew 6: 25-34. A common passage that ends with “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”
So guess what I have been doing? I have been giving. I have been seeking the Lord. I gave away the $125.00 in gift-cards I had recently received. I made my normal tithe to my church. I have been trying to serve and pour out into others.
I wish I could say that since then hundreds of dollars have come rolling in, but they haven’t.
So I’ll keep praying. And Ill keep serving and giving. Because The Lord my God promises that He will provide. And the only choice I have is to take Him at his word, as hard as it is, and trust that He is faithful.
