As promised, here’s my (better late than never) post-training camp blog..
Training Camp was an experience that pushed me in many different ways (as expected.) While I can’t give all the details, I can promise you I was challenged- mentally, physically, spiritually, all of the above.
While at Training Camp, we were going through an exercise where we were asked to sit and be silent, to listen for the Lord, and to wait for Him to speak to us- through His voice, through a vision, or through a word. We were challenged to let the Holy Spirit work within our hearts, and be expectant that he would reveal Himself to us. Not going to lie, at first I was a tad bit skeptical and thought this was a little bit weird.
You see, I grew up in the church.. 3x’s a week, memorizing scripture, reciting The Golden Rule, learning about the Trinity, all that good stuff! The concept of the Father and the Son within the Trinity was an easy thing for me to grasp, however.. I never seemed to put into thought that the ‘Holy Spirit’ could be/is an actual thing. With that being said, it was difficult for me to participate in this activity.
BUT, I did what I was told, closed my eyes and “tried” to be silent. If you know me at all, being silent is not necessarily my strong point. I ended up having to ask God to help me be silent..
“Lord, first I need help being quiet. It’s so hard for me to calm my mind enough to let you enter in and reveal something to be because I always seem to be the one talking. Lord, let your Holy Spirit speak to me in this time. Reveal yourself to me. Show me something that I need to work on, adjust, change.. something! I need to know you are here.”
For the first time in my life, I saw a picture that the Lord had shown me. One simple cursive word written on a wall, and all it said was:
trust
This short one syllable word spoke straight to my heart. I immediately got my journal out and started drawing this word exactly as I saw it during my prayer time. After I had finished sketching it out, my mind was running a million miles an hour of things that I haven’t been trusting God with. My hand started cramping as I began to write down all the things that I had been subconsciously trying to control myself- things that are ultimately out of my control.
Throughout the rest of that week, all I heard was, “trust.”
Since I’ve been home, all I’ve heard is, “trust.”
With that being said, I’m TRUSTing God as to where I feel he is leading me. I feel the Lord has changed the direction of where I thought I was supposed to be for the next 11 months of my life, and it’s been confirmed that where the Lord wants me, are not the same two places. I think that my calling to sign up and prepare to go on the World Race (for the last six months) has been every bit of a faith builder. I believe that God wanted to know (and prove to me) that it is completely necessary for me to put my complete trust in Him. I am fully satisfied with the prayer that:
“I will follow you, Lord, WHEREVER the destination may be.”
My destination has been changed-
My direction has been changed-
I will no longer be going on the Race in January 2015.
The Lord has given me an overwhelming peace about this decision. Although I will not be traveling to 11 different countries this next year to share the Gospel, my ministry does not stop with that. I will continue listening for the Lord, and following Him with every step that I take. I will be able to minister within the States, for this is where I feel like the Lord has placed my heart for the time being.
To my financial supporters- I have been/will be in contact with you specifically.
To my prayer supporters- Please don’t stop! My destination is no longer changing, but neither is my mission to further the Kingdom.
Thoughts/questions/concerns.. Feel free to contact me. Just please be respectful as I am following what the Lord has placed on my heart.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
-Jeremiah 29:11
-Kaitlyn
