10 Days: I now know how much power just 10 days can hold.
No Expectations:
Before training camp I read many blogs about it. I wanted to know what to expect, but they all said the same thing. They all told me not to have any expectations. Now, I’m human and we all have expectations. It’s hard not to have them. So of course I arrived at training with expectations. I’m not even sure exactly what I was expecting, but oh was I wrong. And I learned that when you go into something, if it’s not what you expected, it can be a lot harder.
The first couple days of camp were really rough. It’s hard going into a new place where they push you spiritually, mentally, and physically when you don’t know anyone. I missed my family and I really wanted to go home.
I soon learned why camp was so difficult: by taking all control away from us we had to put all of our faith and trust into the Lord. Once I let go of my expectations and started living in the moment I felt so much freedom and I felt God come into my life in a way I’ve never experienced before. Training camp wasn’t about preparing for the trip; it was teaching us to open our lives to the Lord and to live for Him.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:18-19
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.
I Am Good Enough/Prayer:
I grew up going to church and I went on mission trips through middle and high school, but when I got to camp I felt small. I felt like there were people around me with much greater faith than I had. I didn’t feel worthy to be there.
One of the first mornings before session, we split into twos to pray for each other. This immediately stressed me out. Praying out loud was something I had always been self-conscious of. I didn’t think I was good enough. I was worried I would say something wrong.
That first prayer I said out loud seemed very shallow to me. I hadn’t yet opened my mind to let the Lord speak through me and I just prayed over the basic things (which aren’t unimportant, I just didn’t try to go any deeper in fear I would mess up). It was a very uncomfortable experience for me and I hoped it wouldn’t happen again. But I knew it would. And it did. Many times.
After the first couple sessions I started letting the Lord come into my life; because I didn’t have to try to impress Him. He already loved me even in all my mistakes. And the more I allowed myself to focus, the more the Holy Spirit filled me. And it was so much easier to focus on the Lord when I was will all the other racers who were also trying to focus on Him. It felt like a magnet: the more of us there were praising the Lord, the easier it was for the Holy Spirit to fill us up.
Matthew 18:20
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
I thought I knew what the Holy Spirit felt like, but I was limiting it so much that I didn’t really know. At camp I discovered what the Holy Spirit is really like. The Holy Spirit is so kind and forgiving and gives direction. Through it I was able to hear the Lord in my life. During worship I started feeling like I should pray over certain people. I didn’t really know why, and a few days before I was so scared to even pray at all. Now I was praying over people for reasons I didn’t understand: but they did. And I could tell I was saying something that meant a lot to whom I was praying for. It was really strange, but also really amazing. It’s something I can’t even put into words, but I will never forget how it feels.
I used to only pray over really big things, or when something went wrong. Now I feel so natural praying. I feel like I need to pray about everything. It’s almost like a continual conversation with the Lord now, and that’s how He wants it to be.
I also really like praying with others now. There’s this really cool thing that they call praying “World Race style”. What happens is the person who is being prayed over stands in the middle while everyone else gathers around laying hands on each other. Everyone then prays, individually, and out loud. Then as everyone finishes, one person says a prayer in closing. Every time we did this I got chills and His presence was immediately felt within us all. It is definitely a very powerful way to pray and I wish I could do it more often.
Freedom:
If you read some of the blogs of others in my squad, Freedom was definitely a main goal of training camp and most of us felt it greatly. Something about leaving life to live in the woods for ten days with interesting foods and buckets for showers can be very freeing from life in itself, but we were also challenged by the people at Adventures to experience freedom spiritually and mentally for Christ.
We were challenged to find the chains holding us down. Throughout camp I felt chains breaking. And I felt more and more free as the time went on. Many of us would fall to our knees and weep in thanksgiving and freedom. The largest chain, for me, was all my health issues. And it was really challenging that I got sick at camp. I felt trapped and that I would be a burden if I got sick on the race. During one session someone brought up that we will only be healed in God’s time. And now I’m not really worried. I know there is a reason for it and if I get sick then it’s just a part of His plan and I have to trust Him completely. I feel like a huge weight is off me.
Family:
Matthew 12:48-50
He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
One of the hardest things for me going on this mission trip is going to be leaving behind my family and friends. They’re my support and it’s scary that I won’t have that. But as soon as I started messaging my squad, before we even met, I knew they were going to be a great group of people. I knew E-Squad would do great things. I did not, however, know how close we would grow through camp.
When I first arrived in Atlanta, at the airport, I found some of my squad mates. We were all talking and introducing ourselves but it felt a little bit awkward meeting so many people at once. Then when we actually got to the AIM campus, there were even more squad mates! It was so overwhelming and scary. I wasn’t sure how I was going to become friends with that many people in such a short amount of time.
My worries went away quickly though. We were all going through the same things at the same time and it bonded us faster than I could have imagined. And even though we all had some people we spent more time with than others, we all got along together really well.
I’m so happy with my squad. The Lord has definitely put together an amazing group of people. I feel so much love and support from my squad. And when we got our teams, I wasn’t worried. Because I knew any of the people in my squad would be great teammates.
My team is Colton, Connor, Casey, Jonathan, Lily, and Bailey. I couldn’t be more excited to spend this journey with them. They are the ones I will be living and serving with and I cannot wait to see how the Lord works with us. We are team Atlas.
I love my new family.
From Left: Casey, Lily, Bailey, Connor, Jonathan, Colton, and me
I feel like such a different person after training camp. It was only ten days but I saw the Lord move in my life and in others’ in ways I could never have dreamed. I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. And I feel like I need to share it with others and I need to do something more than I was doing before camp. I’m so glad I’m going on this mission so I can share more and grow more for what the Lord wants me to do and what He wants to do through me. I did not expect much in ten days, but I lived a lot, loved a lot, cried a lot, saw a lot, did a lot, and changed a lot.
