So, Training Camp…. Where do I begin? It was the hardest, most beautiful ten days I have ever experienced. Well, ten days that felt like thirty. That is because I experienced more of God’s love in ten days than I have in this past year.
I could write a book about all the miracles, revelations, and “ah-hah” moments I have had with the Lord during camp, but those aren’t what has a hold on my heart after it all. What I am currently so awed by, is that our God is way bigger than we could ever imagine. Before training camp, my relationship with God was close, but lacking a lot of trust. I guess you could call our relationship “cute”. I kept God in a box, that was safe, and comfortable. I would hear from him when I wanted to, and otherwise lean on my own understanding.
But then I went to training camp, and God decided to wreck this box I limited him to. Mostly through taking away any comfort and control I had. To help you understand what I mean, let me explain.
I was starved of all normal food, and my lovely daily dose of caffeine through warm coffee. My stomach became confused by its new cultural diet. For example, eggs and rice for breakfast, and chicken feet with cow stomach for lunch. I hadn’t slept a full night since I got there, due to my noisy air pad of a bed, and the freezing thirty-degree weather. I was completely unplugged, no phone or any other electronic. My bathroom was a port-a-pottie, that I shared with two-hundred other young adults. My only way to get clean was through cold bucket showers, and spraying Febreeze on the only three outfits I had, because what’s a washing machine? No car, no control of my schedule, no privacy, and having to do this alongside sixty other individuals I was meeting for the first time.
At first, I was terrified. God was calling me to lean on him with ALL of me. To surrender everything, and fall into his arms. But when I did, something so magical happened. I saw God reveal himself to me like he never has before. He showed me a love he had for his children that is so wild, it doesn’t even make sense. That it is his greatest desire to lavish his love on me. He showed me just how powerful he is, and that truly nothing is impossible with him. He doesn’t fit into a box; he is in control of every moment. But even with all of this he is still gentle, and kind. Slowly bringing me in deeper and deeper, till he is my all in all. I have found complete contentment and joy in his presence, He alone is more than enough.
Now being home, having control and comforts back, I am so displeased with them all. I can’t wait to begin my journey in just ten short weeks, where I will be boldly stepping away to share this love and joy with everyone I get to serve for not only a year, but the rest of my life. Training camp has ignited a fire in my soul, and for that I am forever thankful.
