I recently read the book, ‘The Hiding Place’, which if you haven’t read, I would HIGHLY recommend. It is an inspiring story of a family’s beautiful calling, and story through the Holocaust. As I’m reading this book, I am learning what it looks like to have a thankful heart in all circumstances, to depend on only Him to bring you comfort and joy, and the beauty of being sharpened through trials.
This month in Swaziland, has not been the easiest. This country has a lot of darkness, and we’ve all found ourselves filled with anxiety and uneasy feelings. The days are long, and the nights even longer. Our ministry is teaching at care points, with wild children who have been neglected, and act out just to receive attention. The teachers at the care points are facing abuse at home from husbands, or single moms. It’s a heavy place to be, and exhausting ministry for being overseas for already 10 months now.
The area we live in isn’t the best, so we have a strict curfew at 5PM to be inside for good. There isn’t a lot do here, and our closest bakery is a thirty-minute walk from us. Sleeping has been hard, and many of us have had some terrifying dreams.
My team and I are doing the Daniel Fast this month, and that is another added factor. With all these at play, I became very tired and defeated soon.
But then I’m reading this book, where this family had endured way worse conditions than I am, and still had deep passions and joy from the Lord. I didn’t get how they could do it, but I was struggling. At one point in the book, a character named Betsie finds herself living in a concentration camp, in horrible conditions. And instead of complaining, or praying it away she says, “I couldn’t image a better way to live my life, where I get to minister to some of the evilest people in the world.”
I realized I had all the wrong perspective. Instead of carrying all this darkness, and sadness, I needed to be giving it to God to carry, and brining his light. Instead of mustering up my own passions, joy, and strength to get through the days, I needed to start leaning on His.
And more importantly, thanking him in ALL circumstances. Thanking him for choosing me to get to love on these children of his. Thanking him for the food I get to eat, even if its minimal. Thanking him for any amount of sleep I get, and for allowing me to dream. Thanking him for the people around me, and for a new morning every day. Thanking him for hardship, because it brings me closer to Him.
It has been a hard and humbling month so far, but I am thankful for it already. It has brought me to a place of complete dependence on Him, and being rich in His goodness. There is truly something so special about laying everything down in front of him; your burdens, your comforts, and your expectations, and holding onto HIM ALONE. The intimacy you begin to have with God, in itself, is all you could ever want.
