Should I do it? Should I not? Should I wait? Should I go for it?
These thoughts consumed me as I debated about cutting my hair. I know its just hair, but for me, my hair was a big deal.
My hair was part of my mistaken identity.
To me, my hair was my best feature. It made me feel pretty. I danced hula my whole life, and having long hair was part of the culture. I felt like dancing wouldn’t be the same with short hair.
I would also use my hair to hide my imperfect body. I would put my hair to the front so people would see my hair rather than my stomach.
In essence, I hid behind my hair. I was scared to take that feature away, because I was scared what people would see at that point.
But I didn’t want to hide anymore.
In this new season, I want to give up everything and follow Jesus. I want my entire identity to be solely as the daughter of the King. Anything else that takes away from that identity, I want to cut it away.
So I did.
15 inches gone.
When I looked in the mirror, I was shocked…in a beautiful way. I was still me, but different. My short hair made me look taller, brought out my eyes, and made people look at me versus being distracted by my hair.
This was the point of no return.
It made my mission trip that much more real. Not only was I able to cut away at my mistaken identity, but my hair will be easier to maintain abroad.
The best part of it all is that I got to donate my hair to Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the U.S. and Canada under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis.
Through cutting my hair, I was able to gain self-esteem and confidence in my true identity. As for the kids, the prostheses they get will help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence.
So much joy came from this experience, and I love this new season of my life!
Side note: Two days after I cut my hair, I was blessed to meet a bunch of med students from New York. This was the first time I met a group of people who didn’t know me with long hair. I got the chance to get to know them and at one point in our conversation I showed them a pic of me with a haku lei. (They have never heard of a haku lei that’s why. And if you don’t know what a haku lei is, it’s a traditional head lei that is worn as a hair wreath.) When they saw the pic, they were like, “Wait. That’s you??” I had to laugh to myself. It was both funny and awesome to have that reaction from them.
Later that night, we watched the sunset out in Haleiwa. Afterwards, I danced hula for them. For me, it was such a beautiful moment—to be able to do what I love even with my short hair.
