Part of me is deathly afraid to write what I’m about to write. Part of me is scared of what people will think of me. My palms are sweating and I feel like I’m about to throw up.
But you know what?
I know who I am. I’m a daughter of the One True King. Knowing this, I have the courage to share what the Spirit has put on my heart. Let’s open that can of worms.
So here’s my story:
Last year, I was sitting on a wall late at night listening to the waves crash against the shore. At that time, I had let go of the future I wanted and was ready to trust in my Father’s perfect and pleasing path for me.
In that moment, He gently whispered, “I want you take back the gifts I gave you. I will help you and train you for what’s to come.”
Quick background, four years ago I asked God to take away the spiritual gifts He gave me because I didn’t know how to steward them. But when he asked me that night on the wall, I was ready to trust Him this time.
I had no idea what I agreed to.
Healing has always been something that was “charismatic” in my books. Healing was something that was done when Jesus was alive. He could do it, His disciples could do it, but that was something that was done eons ago. Not now.
…Or so I thought.
I was healed miraculously twice before the Race. But the crazier part was that I was told that through Christ, I could heal others.
What?!
And so began my training. I started learning how to walk in the gifts God gave me…and that included healing. This was instrumental because He asked me to do healing in all the nations and to teach those around me.
Fast forward to Bolivia. I was sick with chikungunya. A disease that had no cure. It sucked.
But I knew that God didn’t want me to be sick. I knew He wanted to redeem my sickness. In Romans 8:28 it says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” All things includes chikungunya.
I knew that He wanted to heal me. I just had to wait for His timing.
Then came Prayer Night. It was a night in which our squad prayed in different ways at different hours for a full 12 hours. I had just come back from a long day of logistics and I was pooped. I walked into our kitchen area, ready to eat and sleep when one of the squad leaders, Austin, asked me to help lead Healing Prayer.
In that moment, I was torn between being excited, honored, and utterly frustrated. I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was stay up and help out in that area. But the Spirit nudged me onward.
And so I ended up taking a wonderful power nap before heading to help teach.
It was 10 p.m. and we slowly got a group together of squad mates who were interested in what we had to say. I started getting really excited because it was something that I loved and had a heart and passion for. It wasn’t something we really talked about as a squad, but it was time we did.
We finally put our teaching into practice. One of our squad mates came forward and said that she had intense back pain from a fall she had in Haiti. She was really worried about it and said that it made it hard for her to walk.
I honestly had no energy left within me, so I inwardly prayed to the Spirit to give me the strength to open the door so that He could enter and do His thing. Then I prayed out loud for my sister with the rest of my squad mates praying silently.
I felt the Spirit move and knew He was at work.
When I finished praying, I asked how she was feeling. She was in complete shock and awe. She said she had no more pain. It was a miracle. I smiled to myself and thanked God for His goodness.
It was game on at that point. Everyone practiced healing on each other. It was wonderful seeing those who were skeptical/questioning this realm of God’s power and goodness who were instantly shown that He still lives and moves today as He did when Jesus lived.
Then came the moment when the Spirit nudged me forward to ask for healing for myself. And so I did. I asked my squad mates, my sisters who just learned about their authority in Jesus Christ, to do the impossible for me. To cure me of my incurable disease.
It took three tries. Three tries to become COMPLETELY HEALED.
To go from being utterly exhausted and hurting from pain, to being able to run around and doing pushups and jumping jacks was miraculous. Truly miraculous.
My squad mates also prayed against my fear. My fear of the perfect and pleasing yet different path God has laid out for me. My fear of what it means for me to walk in my true identity as a daughter of God.
After four hours of straight healing, I finally helped pray us out. I ended up sharing what I felt God put on my heart, and I had to laugh because the way He works is so awesome and humbling. To some extent my squad mates knew of my relationship with the Trinity and that gave them a different perception of me. However, that night was to show my squad mates that they (and everyone) have the same authority in Jesus Christ that I have and that I need just as much prayer as they do.
The thought of healing is still fresh to me. If you told me a year ago that I would be a living miracle and help perform miracles through Christ, I’d tell you that you were crazy. But God has been gracious and loving and has shown a side of who He is and the authority that I have that I never dreamed I ever would have.
In Matthew 10:8 it says, “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.”
I have the same authority to do what Jesus did years ago, and so do we all. It blows my mind, but I’m extremely humbled. The part that the Spirit wants me to focus on now is the part where since I freely received from Him, I freely need to give. I can’t hide the gifts that He’s given me.
This is just a snippet of what God is doing in my life. A miraculous snippet to say the least.
Usually your greatest fears are your greatest callings.
I know they were for me. But I’m chicken no more.
So what’s holding you back?
(There are many incredible miracles in between and now that have occurred because of God that I’ve been privileged to witness and testify to, and if you would like to hear more about it, I’d love to share!)
