Well, today is the day! Currently, I am waiting for orientation in my mom’s hotel room. She’s now at parent orientation, which is different from mine, so I have the next couple hours to myself.
During this time, a lot of thoughts run through my head. This is real. This is actually happening. Compared to most of the racers, I am one of those who are more worried than those. I know I shouldn’t be worried so much, but I am human. I’m going into something that I’ve never done before (not mission trip, but logistics related). For those who know me, I am a planner. During high school, I had my own planner so I could write down all of my homework assignments and future quizzes and tests. I had an idea of what to expect so I never felt unprepared. With this, I don’t know what to expect, and that concerns me. I do know that my squad will stay together for the first 3 months, so we won’t separate into our teams until later. With this, because I don’t know what to expect, I feel like I’m going in blindly. I can’t visualize what will happen or where we will stay. One of the things our leadership told us is that we need to be flexible. Being flexible is not a strong suit of mine, so I will definitely be stretched there. I was able to talk it over dinner with Mom last night, so that helped because I realized why I’m crying at pretty random moments. I am excited, don’t deny it, but this is just an area where I need to rely on God much more. I’ve relied on my parents a lot, but now they won’t be there with me. I have to rely on Him in order to feel safe. I know He holds my future and I know He’s already been there. I just have to believe it now. He has gone before me and He will never leave me. I just have to call on His name and He’ll be there.
Please continue to pray for me during this transition. I think once I get on the field it will be easier to go for it and learn the ropes, but right now it’s kind of difficult. Please continue to pray for my family as well. It was hard on all of us to say goodbye for now. I greatly appreciate all of the support you’ve given! You have no idea what the encouragement does for my spirit when I’m feeling anxious. Thank you!
