Y’all, I’ve made a complete 180!
Last week was so rough. I think if you saw me then and now, you wouldn’t recognize me. I am honestly laughing so much more and I’m really enjoying myself. As a way to combat homesickness, I write down 10 things I’m grateful for during our devo time as part of my journaling. Throughout the day, I try to encourage all of my teammates. I’ve also really been listening to the Holy Spirit and obeying whenever He tells me to do something. For example, a couple nights ago, Trevor (guy on my squad) asked to hear my story. No big deal.
PSYCH
That is huge. He was the first GUY to ever hear my story. He was also the first person to hear my story outside of my team. I really prayed about how much I should tell him – whether I should leave out the bad parts or just say all of it. Each time I asked the Holy Spirit what to do, I heard Him say each time, “Be vulnerable.” And I was. He said he was encouraged by my story and he feels a lot closer to me. I’m going to hear his story, too, so I hope I can feel the same after I hear him. The whole point of it was the fact that I obeyed. Even though it was Trevor that wanted to hear me, I feel like it was an opportunity the Holy Spirit was giving me. I’ve been learning to keep being open with people, and I’m actually feeling connections with my team (which is really important right now).
Each day, I feel more and more joyful. I am seriously laughing so much, even at really stupid stuff that normally I would be annoyed with. The Lord has just opened my eyes to so much that I’m ready to take part in. For example, we had a session where part of it was listening to the Holy Spirit, asking what needs to be said to someone that evening. Everyone received a number, then we prayed and wrote down whatever we felt the Holy Spirit was telling us to tell that person. My person that I wrote to was Tyler. He’s someone I haven’t talked to, but he’s a good guy. I didn’t realize it was him until I saw that his letter was from me. He was sitting really close to me, so I was sitting there so worried. I was praying that what I heard from the Holy Spirit was what he needed. I studied his face as he read it, and I could tell that it affected him. I confirmed with him later that he was my number, and he thanked me. I don’t know how he needed it, but I do believe that he needed to read/hear what I told him via the Holy Spirit.
Also, because I confirmed that it was Tyler that received my note, I felt like the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me something. I walked outside to be alone and focus, and I asked why I felt troubled. I heard the Holy Spirit say, “It’s okay to have guy friends.” All my life, I felt like I couldn’t be friends with guys because they were either immature or I would eventually develop feelings for them. I don’t know why it clicked with Tyler when I heard this, but I realized that having guys as friends is okay. I know it may sound weird to some of you, but I just never had guy friends. I thought they were kind of stupid and confusing. They still are sometimes, but it’s okay. I’m willing to be open with people, and that’s the big thing I’m learning as I’m here.
The Lord has just been so good to me and my team while we’ve been here. He’s blessed with translators at our ministry sites and been present with everything we’ve been doing. I’ve really learned to rely on Him more to keep pushing through my day.
Thank you for all of your prayers and your support! It means so much and it’s such a blessing to know that people continue to pray on my behalf! God bless you!
