Since we’ve been here, every morning, we have a 30-minute devotional time after breakfast. It’s individual, but we all commune in the common area and spend time with the Lord. For me, I start off with listing ten things I’m thankful for. I started this to help with homesickness, and it’s been really helpful for me to focus on what I’m thankful for. After that, I journal a little bit, just telling God what’s on my mind. After that, I do this thing called listening prayer. I never heard about it until the Race started, so it was definitely foreign to me. Basically, it’s where we quiet ourselves before the Lord and just listen to Him. Sometimes He just talks to me and I listen, and other times it’s just me sitting in His presence. After that (if our time isn’t up), I read a psalm and a proverb a day. I’ve also been reading through the New Testament. I started in Galatians, and now I’m in Colossians.
The whole reason I’m doing this kind of blog is because God revealed to me how much I’ve changed regarding my reliance on Him and I thought this would be a good blog to write. This past Wednesday, the Lord pointed out the following verse to me, and I wanted to share what I realized.
Psalms 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge. Selah”
When I read that verse, the underlined portion really stuck out to me. So many times as humans, we put our trust into other humans and divulge all of our deepest secrets to them. We go to other fallible people before approaching God. I’m not saying that it’s bad to approach others. Paul says that we should seek wise counsel, so I totally encourage it. It’s just we tend to turn to those we visibly see day to day. Turning to God may be anywhere from our second option to our last. What I’ve realized for me is that I don’t always turn to Him first because I think I can take care of what I’m going through. I may not even ask for help from other people. I’ll just sit and think by myself and try to sort my thoughts. What I’ve learned is that while it’s good for me to process through all of these thoughts in my head, there is no solution unless God is involved. For instance, I’ve been wanting to deepen my trust in the Lord, specifically as a child trusts a father. It’s been a long process, and it is still going on, but I’m beginning to let go of my problems and just let the Lord work through it. Lately, the Lord has been asking me to let go of people, especially those I hold closest to me. It’s been during my past few devo times that the Lord has asked me to give them to Him. To say I worried about them is an understatement. I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but they were always on my mind and I was trying to find ways as to help them myself. No solution ever came up except to give them to the Lord. In order for me to do this, I visualized me walking hand-in-hand with these people. We approached the Lord together. His hand would be open, waiting for whoever I was bringing to Him. With tears in my eyes, I would place their hand in His, like a father giving his daughter away at her wedding. As I placed their hands together, I would say to the Lord, “Please take care of them. They mean a lot to me, and I love them so much. I’m entrusting them to You now, so please watch over them.” As I finished saying those words, a peace settled over me. After letting them go, I knew that everything would be alright. I don’t know how the Lord will work in them, but I do know that He is a good God, and He takes care of His children. I don’t have to worry about them anymore because the Lord was taking care of it.
In regards to the verse, I realized I haven’t been pouring out all of my heart to the Lord. I’ve given Him bits and pieces, and these pieces have grown into bigger chunks, but I haven’t wholeheartedly given all of me to the Lord. This whole trusting process is definitely taking a while, but I know it will be well worth it. I know we’ve all struggled with trust in one form or another, so I’m not afraid to talk about this. As I’m learning to trust God the Father, I’m seeing how much He loves me. He’s strong enough to take on the burdens I carry and let me be free to love and serve Him completely. Even when I feel like only I understand what I’m facing and only I can take care of it, He steps in and says, “Don’t worry. I can take it. I’m strong enough. Let Me help you.” As I listen to His voice, I slowly release my grip on whatever I’m possessing. As I let go, I realize that holding on was worse than letting go. Allowing God to take control has helped me learn to take care of myself and let God deal with my concerns. It’s so good to know that the God I serve is so willing to take on my burdens so I can experience more and more freedom as this journey called life goes on.
Thanks for reading! God bless!
