“Don’t be sad. Every day be happy, ok?”
In my first month of the Race, working with street youth in Guatemala City, I wrote a blog series about things in this world that enraged me. I could tell already that this year would constantly be throwing things at me that would make me frustrated, sad, and angry. I’m ok with feeling those things, but I never want them to turn into hopelessness. Thankfully, God has blessed me with so much joy each month that I haven’t dwelt much on how hard things are in the places we’re working. Especially this month. This first week in the Philippines has been one of my favorites yet. We’re working with a camp for street youth, and living out in the mountains, surrounded by jungle, clouds, and quiet. Basically, it’s the perfect location for me. Everything about this place filled me with peace, joy, and relaxation. It was hard to think of anything that would be very emotionally draining this month.
Until . . .
– we picked up fifteen 7-19 year old boys who run the streets of Manila and brought them home with us for 3 days
– they started showing us their tattoos and initiation burns
– we heard stories of how they’d become street kids
– I made their day by losing at Rock Paper Scissors about a hundred times
– they curled up on the floor trying to get some sleep
– we had dance parties and swapped crazy moves
– I started seeing names and personalities instead of wild boys
– the younger ones fell asleep in my arms
– we stood around a bonfire listening to the kids sing in Tagalog and make up freestyle raps
– they told me how much they would miss me when they went home
I was fine . . . until it sunk in that we had to take them back to the streets.
It started to get to me while we were playing some worship songs the last morning they were here. I looked around at the worn out but happy boys flaked out on the floor of the church and I didn’t want to let them go. I just kept thinking, God, I want to keep them. I didn’t want to take them back to life on the streets. Back to drugs and abuse, gangs and theft. Back to danger, where maybe there isn’t anyone to hug them and tell them they matter in the world.
I had so much fun with these kids, and I loved them like they were my 15 little brothers…the crazy thing is that some were young enough they could have been my sons, and I gladly would’ve taken them home with me. I was going with our contact to drop them off that afternoon, and I really hoped I wouldn’t end up crying in a car full of teenage boys. I kept it together, but dropping those boys off on the street corner and walking away was rough. Several of them were smoking within minutes of getting out of the taxi, and the rest just disappeared into the city.
So, yes, I was dealing some frustration, sadness, and anger that day. Then I read a note that one of the boys had given my teammate to give to me. He thanked me for being a sister to him, and gave me some pretty good advice:
“Don’t be sad. Every day be happy, ok?”
I don’t know if he’d seen me tearing up during worship that morning, or if he was just sharing his “don’t worry, be happy” philosophy on a whim, but I’m learning to appreciate life lessons that come from unexpected places. He was right; there was no point in feeling sad for those kids. Sadness won’t get them off of the streets or into families that care for them. These guys were all about jokes and fun – they certainly didn’t want my sadness.
Thankfully, there’s a lot about their visit that made me laugh: Joker’s exasperation when I couldn’t copy his dance moves, Brown’s quirky expressions, all the selfies Laren took on my camera, Kenneth yelling “Hallelujah praise the Lord!” when something exploded in the bonfire, Raul and Joman lying on the floor giggling up at me while I did yoga.
There are a lot of reasons to be happy every day. So don’t be sad, ok?
