As I think back on my 10 days at Training Camp it is sort of hard to comprehend. A lot of people have asked what all we did at camp and I can’t and won’t go into all the grueling details but what I will say is, it got this introvert, who refuses to be emotional, hater of get to know you games out of her comfort zone. It brought brokenness. It brought hurt. It brought anger. It brought sadness. It brought grief. Most of all, though, when I think back on the week all I can think of is that it brought RESTORATION. It brought restoration to my soul. To the deepest, most broken parts of me. Some I knew were there and others I had no idea were still affecting me in every aspect of life. I went into the week praying for emotional healing. Knowing that this season between work and race was one that would be healing to the soul because of things I have seen and not properly dealt with. The Lord is so sweet to answer prayers. He answered them more than I could have ever asked for by giving me a squad to come alongside me in the healing process.
Driving to Training Camp I was a nervous wreck. I mean, I’ve been pretty much online dating 50 people and now was the time to determine whether or not we would be friends for real or if we would learn to deal with each other for a year. Absolutely undone at this thought as I was making the trek to Gainesville, GA. For all of you that are wondering it was family love at first sight. T Squad is everything that I hoped, prayed and imagined for. We aren’t perfect. We have flaws and we have pasts but my, oh my, does this squad love SO WELL. I can’t even comprehend it. I can’t put into words the love that we all have for each other. A love that serves. A love that hurts when others hurt. One that rejoices when others rejoice. One that is patient. Kind. Steadfast. I could go on and on and on for days and never say enough. They chase after the Lord with everything that is in them and we all have the one, same desire of spreading this gospel to the ends of the earth. 50 people, one common goal and one God makes for a pretty special community.
Throughout the week I was sick. I was emotional. I was rigid. I was in introvert overload so sometimes frustrated. My squad rallied around me. They pushed me to have the Lord heal those emotions. They forced me to stay in my tent and have breakfast and lunch in bed when I had played tough for too long with sickness. They rejoiced when the Lord made a breakthrough in my life a day after asking Him for it. They listened when I was frustrated. They listened when I was rejoicing. They listened to all that the Lord was pouring into my life as I tried to process out loud what He is doing. They offered Godly wisdom and encouragement at just the right moments. They offered joy. They offered patience. They offered kindness. I pray that I offered the same to them. I pray that I learned by their examples of how to love and how to have tough talks when the Lord is requiring it. I pray that I have a joy that is contagious and that peace flows out of me like a river when I am around them. This week was hard. It was fun. It was full of dance parties and get to know you games but it was also full of the Lord’s presence, in some new ways and some old ways that I hadn’t seen in a while and so it was refreshing. The Lord brought joy and healing to so many people and He stirred the fire and desire to go out into the world. He is a sweet, sweet Father who desires for His kids to know Him personally and we got to experience that this week.
The Lord is so good. He does good. He works everything out for my good. He gives good gifts to His children. This week the Lord changed me. From the core He changed me. I wish I could go into detail about all that He has done in only a week but some of those things me and Him still have to work through. I just want you to know that the Lord is close by. He has never left you. He is a personal God who draws near to you when you draw near to Him. He cares about every single detail of your life. Whether you pray for freedom from your own emotions or something greater or something less He is there and He is waiting to love on you. He is waiting to pour into your life if you will just let Him. Know that sometimes we have to be broken to appreciate being healed. We all want the savior but we don’t want the cross. We have to learn that brokenness it a part of life. It isn’t fun. It isn’t easy but it is so worth it. He is waiting to pour out that living water on the desert of your soul and make an endless amount of flowers and joy bloom. He is ready to restore to you the joy of your salvation if only you will ask. Fight for joy because it’s worth it. Lay down every thought, feeling and attitude you have before the Lord. Make space in your heart for Him to move and let Him move how He wants, not how you think that He should.
Thank you to all of my supporters!! I would not be able to go on this journey without your help and I am absolutely in awe and wonder of the Father because of your obedience to give as He asks you to. Thank you for all of the texts and phone calls over training camp week. I didn’t respond but know that they pulled me through on the days I wasn’t at my best. You guys are my prayer warriors and support system and I get tears of thankfulness every time I remember you in my prayers!!! I officially leave for Atlanta on June 28th. Not sure of the exact date of leaving the country yet but it is coming up more quickly than I ever expected. I want to be intentional with my time left in the States so let’s hangout and when we hangout tell me to put the phone down. Cool? Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE and SHARE my blog so everyone can follow this journey that I know the Lord is going to be so evident in!!!!
Here is my entire T Squad, who WON squad wars!!!
Here is my beautiful team that I will do life with!!! We got to go out and bond over coffee and dinner. They are going to challenge me and empower me to live out my calling. To preach this gospel to the ends of the earth, to love on orphans, to be a servant and a selfless giver. They will speak life into me when my day isn’t going the best and most of all they will change this world with me for the Lord. So. Excited.
