“Be still and reflect”
That’s what the Lord is saying about this current season of my life.
I thought for sure that when the Lord told me to be still it meant that rest was coming.
While that has happened, that’s not exactly what it meant.
What it does mean, though, is that I have been in a season of a boxing ring, with a lot of punches and kicks. A wilderness, if you will.
Now, the Lord has given me a gift and He has told me that I just entered into the Promised Land and while the Israelites still had to conquer places in the Promised Land and I also will, I am finished with the wrestle that has been the last season. The Lord has put gifts in front of me over the last few weeks and to say that they scared me at first is an understatement.
I believe that the Lord is about to walk me into promises that are much bigger than myself and that are going to change my life. So, to get me out of this fear of His gifts that I have been walking in, He has started walking me through a journey of reflection.
I’ve always heard the quote that goes like “we can trust the Lord for what is to come because of seeing all that He has done.” I’ve never believed it more.
“and Joshua said to them, ‘Cross again to the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan, and each of you take up a stone on his shoulder… Let this be a sign among you, so that when your children ask later, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ then you shall say to them, ‘Because the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.’ So these stones shall become a memorial to the sons of Israel forever.”
Joshua 4:5-7
This journey of deep reflection isn’t just one of making a reflective statement under my breath. It’s one of actually sitting with the Lord and going back through things in my life. Like, graduating Auburn when I thought for sure I would fail out first. How He saved me from marrying a man that didn’t really love the Lord like he said that he did. How He has taken friends out of my life and brought new ones in. How He brought me to the World Race. How He has made me creative and bold and confident and free when I was insecure and legalistic.
In Matthew 14 we see Jesus feed 5,000 with a few loaves and fishes. Then in the next verses He walks on the water. Then, here comes Matthew 15 where we see Jesus heal a girl who is demon possessed and then we see Him healing crowds and then there’s another crowd of 4,000 to feed. The disciples, of all people, say “Where would we get so many loaves in this desolate place to satisfy such a large crowd?”
The disciples.
Who have seen Him not only walk on water and heal crowds, but they have seen Him do the very miracle that they are questioning.
THEN, chapter 16 happens and the disciples forget bread when going to the other side of the sea with Jesus. They start discussing the fact that they don’t have bread, because they seem to forget those miracles, and Jesus finally says:
“You men of little faith, why do you discuss among yourselves that you have no bread? Do you not yet understand or remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets full you picked up? Or the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets full you picked up?”
Yes, Lord.
How many times has Jesus had to say to me “but, do you not remember?”
How many times has He had to call me “woman of little faith”?
I want to be a woman of deep faith and I believe that can only come when I am a woman of deep reflection. A woman who knows what the Lord has done in her life. What He has given and taken away all for my good and His glory. A woman who believes that the Lord is a good, good Father and that He won’t give me a stone when I ask for bread.
I’ve stopped using the word “good” in my life unless it’s referring to the Lord or if something is actually deserving of the word. The word is used a lot in the bible. Like, when God created man and saw that it was good. Or when He explains that every good and perfect gift comes from above. Mostly, the bible uses it a lot to refer to how good God is. We’ve let the word lose it’s weight. We’ve started to respond to things like “how are you” or “how was your day” or “how is the food” or “how is so and so” with the word good and it’s taking away all of the beautiful awe that it should carry. I don’t want to call a gift from God “good” and also call my rice and potatoes “good”. Sure, food is a gift. Sure, every day is a gift and it’s great that a day goes so well. But for the Promised Land and pizza to both be called “good” just isn’t acceptable for me anymore.
The Promised Land that I have entered is good. Reflecting is helping me to see that the journey to get here has also been good. Reflection is also helping me to see just how good God is.
