I am learning some things this go-round.
I am learning about the love of my Father.
I am learning that His love can literally take my breath away and it can make my heart flutter. It’s a love that we have all heard about. We talk about it. We tell people that Jesus loves them. I tell people that all the time in broken Spanish in hopes that it will lead them to repentance.
We read about it. We study it. We could quote verse after verse of the bible.
But what does it mean when that love actually gets deep in your spirit and changes your life? What does it mean to actually live out being loved by God and not just knowing that God is love?
I don’t know the answer for sure. I’m no scholar. I’m no pastor. I haven’t gone to seminary for years.
But I know to me this isn’t something that I learn in a book even though the bible helps. This is something that has to be experienced. It means that when I open His word, my heart skips a beat because it’s the greatest love letter that I could ever read in my entire life. It has the most correct grammar that I will ever read in my entire life, am I right? When I see His creation, I have to catch my breath because no person can ever create anything as beautiful. They can try. They can create beautiful things. But nothing compares.
The Lord and I, we’ve been through some things. We’ve been through some years. Some life changes. Some milestones. I don’t know what marriage is like but from what I hear, the love grows stronger the more that you walk through. That’s how the Lord and I are. We have walked through some broken friendships and we have walked through a boy that didn’t quite love me the way that he said he did. We have walked through a tough season as a social worker and we walked through a really great season of Auburn. Right now, we are walking in a season that He just keeps telling me is good. I have a relationship with the Lord that I don’t want anyone to distract me from. I hear His voice. I feel His spirit. I know when He is telling me to do something or not to do something.
Because here’s what I am realizing, the more you are with someone, the more you know them.
The more life I walk with the Lord the more I know His voice like if my best friend was talking right next to me. The more I walk with Him the more I realize that He does things just for me. He knows me more than anyone else and He is the most intentional thing in this universe. His intentionality to paint a sky for me and throw an airplane across it is the most perfect thing that I could ever see.
And when this love gets deep down in our souls, we want the whole world to know it. We want the whole world to not only know that God is love but to experience being loved by Him. I want the whole world to know His voice. I want the whole world to have to catch their breath. I want the whole world to know what it is like to have their heart skip a beat by something that isn’t human.
I can’t get enough of Him.
I literally cry sometimes as I just sit with the Lord. Not listening to music. Not reading the word. Not journaling.
Just sitting.
Because in the sitting is where the intimacy with Him comes. And that’s what I’m after.
I will sit with Him.
When there are a million people around. When there are fun things to do. Because in this season, He is all that I want.
I catch His eye when I walk in the room.
And He catches mine, too.
And that’s all that I could ever ask for.
“…she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.”
Luke 7:37
Let me be a woman who knows He is worth pouring out everything that I have.
I am three months into this squad leading journey and I am about $800 short of being fully funded. I would love it if you would consider donating for maybe a birthday or Christmas gift?? I am forever grateful for all of you faithful supporters that have followed all the things that the Lord has been doing around the world.
