5 Days
Just yesterday it seems I was writing “12 days”. Slow down time. I am thankful for blogging because it helps me get all these jumbled thoughts in my head out and maybe encourages some of you in the process.
Over the last few days it has officially hit me that in 5 days I leave everything that I know for 11 months. I leave everything that is comfortable. I leave all of my family and my friends. I leave my sweet, precious niece who will be walking by the time I get home. I leave the ability to hop in my car and get alone with the Lord at any time. I leave the air conditioning and hot showers. I leave most of my clothes and my beloved Nikes. This has all just been a far off idea for the last 6 months and now in only 5 days it will become a reality. To say my emotions are all over the board would be an understatement.
On Sunday I went to church where I could understand the language for the last time. On Saturday I had a going away party. This week I have all kinds of times scheduled with the people that mean the most to me so I can hug their necks and thank them for all that they have done before heading to Atlanta. Yesterday I had a meltdown about what clothes to take. Then, I went to a funeral, that was absolutely beautiful and inspiring and encouraging and after I left I cried for 30 minutes because I want those things to be said of my life. Things like being faithful to what the Lord has called me to even when it isn’t convenient or comfortable or easy. Things like being a faithful prayer warrior, or a worshipper, or a speaker of the word. Things like inviting complete strangers to Jesus. What a beautiful service it was. What a wakeup call it was. One that reminded me that God has not called me to comfort or convenience but to a life of obedience. He has called me to this race for this season.
“Jesus left and went to a secluded place…”
Luke 4:42
This week is tough. Tears have fallen. My attitude hasn’t been the greatest. I have been annoyed and overwhelmed and quiet and sort of in a daze. I have made time to be alone. I have felt guilty about not answering my phone the moment it dings or spending every waking moment with my family and friends. Then the Lord reminds me… It’s okay to have alone time. It’s okay to go to a secluded place. It’s okay. Jesus went to secluded places often. He went and prayed alone the night He would be betrayed. Jesus tried to avoid crowds at times, even if it didn’t always work. I am thankful for a God that reminds me that the savior of the world needed time away from the people in His life. That He needed time with His Father. That He needed time to “recline at the table”.
So, to my fellow mates and future racers… It’s okay. Put that phone away. Go get in your car and drive. Eat the whole row of Oreos. Eat the banana pudding right after the whole row of Oreos. Enjoy some Oreos and milk with the Lord because He understands. He catches those tears. He calms that anxious heart. He brings that peace that surpasses all understanding. Pack some and then taken a break. Make lists. Don’t make lists. Don’t pack. Whatever you want to do, however you want to deal with this life change, do it. Some people may not understand but it doesn’t matter. Get in that secluded place with the Lord and lay all those cares and burdens at His feet. Don’t feel bad about the alone time because close community is the life for the next 11 months.
“And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed…”
Matthew 26:39
Thank you to everyone that has been so supportive of this journey!!! Despite the sadness and anxiety I am beyond excited to be heading to Atlanta on Sunday. My next blog update will probably be from THE FIELD in INDIA… Whatttttt?! So, stay tuned for it and click subscribe so that you know exactly when that happens!
