To all of you who knew me before the race.. I did
something crazy and completely out of the ordinary.
I threw away my favorite pair of
shoes!!!
And for all of you who did not know me before the race, here is the story
about how much I loved these shoes!
Me:
Hello, I was wondering if I could get these shoes fixed up, maybe just put in a
new sole at the bottom because my old ones are torn up.
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: Let me see
shoe!
*she takes the shoes and looks at them in
disgust! While she makes a contorted face that looks like she just smelled
something that came out of a cow’s butt*
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: I no fix.
These are bad shoes! Buy new pair!
Me: But I don’t want a new pair. I
want these shoes, I’ve had them for years and years. I love these shoes.
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: Not worth
it! Go buy new shoe!
Me: Please just fix them, I will pay
anything!
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: I don’t
want to take your money! Go buy new shoe! $20 down the road, go buy new shoe
there!
Me: I NEED THESE SHOES! PLEASE
PLEASE FIX THEM!
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady:
*not looking too happy because she knows
that these shoes are hopeless* fine fine I put in new sole… but, it’s not
worth it. These shoes are no good.
Me: Thank you thank you so so so
much!
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: You
married?
Me: No. why?
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: You love
only one man just like you only love one pair of shoe! Very loyal to shoe.
Me: Yeah yeah yeah
I’m not so sure if you could tell, but I was so
desperately holding onto these shoes because I figured that there was nothing
else out there that I would love better than these shoes.
I was
comfortable in these shoes.
I knew what outfits they looked good with, and they fit my feet like a glove
because I’ve worn them so much that my foot imprinted into them. The only thing
is, I had worn them down so much and there was no support for my feet at all.
I might as well have walked barefoot.
Everyone but me could see that the shoes were falling
apart and that I just needed to buy a new pair. I was so stinkin’ stubborn
though.. I couldn’t let them go. I needed them to feel comfortable. To feel
like myself.
When I first applied for the World Race I told God, “God, If I am going to do
this… if I really am going to dedicate a year of my life to you.. I don’t want
to come home as the same person, I want to be different. Take me out of my
comfort zone.”
Be careful what you pray for, because that is exactly
what He did.
I cling to things that are known to me, that I am comfortable
with.
We all do. We love our small little comforts.
baby blankets
TV
clothes
your image
electricity
big comfy couches to take afternoon naps in
friendships…
Everyone has their comforts that they don’t want to let
go of because it is known to us. God removed me from everything that I was
familiar with, where my identity lied in.
He
took me away from
my family
my friends
my boyfriend
boys in general (put me on an all girls team)
put me in the foreground where I had to make decisions
my appearance
my long straight hair
I hate admitting this but I gained 15 pound
makeup to make me feel beautiful
Internet
Pretty much all I had left of my comforts were my
shoes. My beloved shoes that I’ve had for years was the last memory or my
former life back at home. Rest in Peace shoes. So
basically… I got thrown into a year without my comforts, leaving me alone with
my teammates trying to figure out who I am in God’s eyes as well as who Jesus
Christ is to me in my life.
I was holding onto my old life, a life where I could
depend on myself and I could ignore all of my sins and insecurities and just
brush them under the rug. I am now realizing that living for Christ is not
comfortable at all. You have to life by faith knowing that God is good and He
will provide for you exactly what you need. He makes you step outside of your
comfort zones to test your faith, to see how much you believe in His strength
and power. Living for Christ often involves walking up to beggars and praying
for their legs to be healed, preaching in front of large crowds at the drop of
a dime without any preparations, and giving up your possessions like the shirt
off your back or even your computer or iPod. Nothing about it is comfortable… in fact it is trying and often
times hard… but God puts us through the fire to refine us. To make us more like
Him more and more each day. Rejoice in these trials and tribulations because in
the end we are one step closer to being holy like our Jesus.
I’m not sure if you guys have ever heard of the story
about wineskins. Jesus is explaining to the disciples that you never put new
wine into old wineskins. It is said that if new wine is put into old wineskins
then the skins will burst and the wine is spilt everywhere and both the wine and
the skins are destroyed. New wine is put
into fresh wineskins so that both are preserved. My old shoes are my old
wineskins… over this year I have been transformed, my faith in the Lord has
been renewed and refreshed.. therefore I don’t belong in my old shoes anymore. I
need shoes that will provide me with support, that don’t have holes in them
where my toe sticks out. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus and I needed new
wineskins!…… So I did something that any girl would do. I used my daddy’s
credit card and bought a brand new pair of shoes from Aldo. Wanna see?
Change is good.
Change is necessary.
It is how we grow, we mature, we move on. We leave the past behind us and set
our eyes towards God as He leads us into our future.
If I could redo part of the conversation with the
Chinese Show Repair Lady, it would have been this part.
Chinese
Shoe Repair Lady: You married?
Me: No, why?
Chinese Shoe Repair Lady: You love only one man just like you only love one
pair of shoe! Very loyal to shoe.
Me: Heck yeah I do.. His name is
Jesus *enter gospel message here because I am a missionary
and all that now, and this would have been a perfect opening to share the love
of Jesus with her*
And yes Alejo I wrote this blog all
by myself…..Happy 23rd Birthday!!!
