Kacie- a prophetess! “You might not realize it but you’re not just a princess or a queen but a mighty woman with mighty words. You have discernment, wisdom, and God has an anointing on you to see truths and visions for people, even if you meet them for 10 seconds or 10 years. You have a mighty voice for this generation, this time in history. Believe your calling and walk in it!”
These life-giving words were spoken over me by our squad leader Noe during our debrief in Bucharest, Romania. Life-giving words I tell ya.
During worship with my team in Swaziland, everyone was strewn throughout the room worshipping in their own way. I was reminding my own business when all of a sudden my right wrist began to hurt like crazy. I didn’t know what was wrong so I started to rub it out to see if it will go away. I look up and I see Phil rubbing his right wrist and I instantly knew what was happening. Phil’s wrist has been hurting for a month and a half now and we have been praying for it sporadically at team time when it would start to kill him. I could hear clear as a bell in my head, “Go pray for him, Kacie.” I knew it.. I knew he was telling me to step out in faith and obey him. “Go pray for him, Kacie.” NO LORD I DON’T WANT TO! To be absolutely honest with you, the whole Holy Spirit making your body ache where someone else’s body aches so that you know to pray for them freaks the heck outta me. It’s so weird and supernatural and not normal at all, so stepping out in faith believing that the Lord has placed this ache in my body is almost like admitting this stuff is real. And I was not ready to do that yet.
So I refused. “No Lord… I am not going to pray for Phil.” Ouch.. I deliberately disobeyed Him and I knew that.. but the Lord was not finished with me. All of a sudden, Phil came over from the other side of the room and sat right next to me and started journaling. I knew that the Lord was making it as easy as possible for me.. . He basically was placing Phil over into my hands so that all I had to do was reach over and just pray for Him. I was way too scared though. Too scared to admit that this stuff was legit and all He wants me to do is believe that His Spirit is living inside of me and He has anointing me to pray over His people. I wrestled with the Lord for 3 more songs.. the whole time refusing to obey Him. And then the worst thing in the world happened to me…. I felt the presence of the Lord leave me and my wrist stopped hurting. NOOOOOOO! I disobeyed and now God has left me and moved onto someone else. I sat there and sobbed because I felt so guilty for saying No to what the Lord was calling me to do. I sat there feeling remorseful for missing my chance to step out in faith.. and then I felt it. The pain in my wrist came back and I felt the Lord say, “I’m not giving up on you, Kacie. Pray for Him.” I immediately leapt at the chance and I told Natalie to turn off the music and I had the team gather around Phil and we prayed for his wrist.
Now you are thinking that this is going to be some sort of miracle story where my obedience and extremely powerful prayer immediately healed Phil’s wrist…. But that is definitely NOT the case. His wrist still hurts, and probably even worse than before. But I remember the words that Noe spoke over me. “Kacie- a prophetess! I have a mighty voice in this generation.” The Lord has anointed me to be a mighty warrior for his Kingdom and I have to believe that I am worthy enough for the gifts that He has in store for me. I am the one who is so unsure of myself, the little lies that remain in my head saying, “Kacie, you never will be good enough for these gifts, why would God ever use you to speak life over people? Why would God ever use you to heal someone?” they keep haunting me and it kills my confidence. But those life-giving words. Kacie-a prophetess! I want to reach a depth with the Lord that I have never been able to reach. I want to go to the next step with the Lord and I feel like it starts with listening to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to lead me. I want to obey and know in full confidence that I have been anointing to further His Kingdom. God is persistent and He will never give up on me… and He wants me to be persistent as well. He wants me to listen to Him and faithfully obey Him… and once I believe.. glorious things will happen!
