Did you know that the Bible says we (disciples of Christ) shine like stars in a world of darkness?

It does. Twice.

 
I love that.

But sometimes I forget that it’s true.
 
When I know who I am, I know who I am because I know Whose I am, because I know the I AM.
 
I started writing about that concept in Thailand (now over 2 months ago), but it’s been a slow and constant discovery that I don’t actually know much of the depth of those things and Jesus is trying to show them to me…
 
I’ve been in a pattern of realizing I STILL let my identity be shaken quite easily, I sit in darkness wondering who I am, and then Jesus reminds me of the I AM who became flesh and died for me, who claims me for Himself – forever – and I have to figure out how to claim that identity all over again.
 

This year has been a constant struggle with my identity – and I thought that was just me, and I thought it was an awful thing to struggle with. I’m on an 11-month long mission trip,
how can my identity in Christ not be rock-solid, right?
 

I was listening to a sermon by a well-known evangelist this past month when I realized that other people wrestle with claiming and stepping into their identity in Christ, too, because this evangelist – almost in passing – mentioned that HE struggles with his identity…
 
And He and I can’t be the only ones.

Maybe you don’t, but you might, so let me try to explain how it happens for me:
 
Insecurity, man. Insecurity gets me. It’s habitual, cyclical.
 
One day I’m fine – better, I’m on top of the world. I’m pouring into others and loving well and my joy is radiant and I wanna go-go-go. See, explore, taste, smell, feel, discover.
 

Do you know that kind of excitement? I can be running around a brand new city, or sitting in cute little coffee shop completely relaxed, but I’ve got the same kind of excitement going on internally.  I’m the me I wanna be.
 
Then something happens anywhere near me – I get an email, someone makes a comment, I witness something and it reminds me of some other thing and that starts me thinking – and in an instant, that radiance is gone.

 
If there’s a problem nearby, I find a way to be convinced that it’s my fault.
If anyone around me is upset, I find a way to be convinced they’re upset with me.
I get defensive and push people away, and then get hurt because no one’s pursuing me (cue the victim-mentality).
I get paranoid that everyone around me is upset with me.
I’m convinced that I’m not doing anything right, and start to believe I’m not worthy of anyone else’s time or pursuit or attention.
I start to feel lost.
I take on all of these thoughts and emotions, and quickly end up sitting in that dark place completely devoid of direction, wondering who I am and how I got there again, and why I can’t just hold onto the radiance I LOVE to carry.
 
Once I catch myself in that place I’ll get desperate, listening to podcast after podcast of sermon after sermon, pouring over passages, chapters, and entire books of the Bible, lamenting with my guitar in my arms, crying out in rhythmic melodies, waiting for the Lord to show me why I’m so lost again – striving for Him to pick me up and cloak me in His radiance again.
 

Does that ever happen to you?
 

It doesn’t have to. 
And you have the power and authority to make sure it doesn’t. 
And God never asked you to strive, anyway. 
It’s okay, though. I just learned that, too.

In Exodus 20, God gives Moses the 10 commandments.
 
But before God voices those commandments, He says this:
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt, out of the place of slavery.” (Exodus 20:1)
 
Before we receive any instruction, God declares who He is.
 
…So wouldn’t it make sense – if we’re made in His image – that every day, before we start to work on anything in any way, we be able to declare who we are?
 
Jesus was baptized and the dove descended and the voice came from the heavens declaring, “This is my son, with whom I am well pleased,” (matt 3:17) and then Jesus STARTED His ministry.
 
If we start to work without that in the front of our minds, we allow room for pride (we think we’re doing it on our own), fear of failure (we’re afraid we can’t do it, because we forget we’re not on our own), skewed motives (a need to please people or be seen accomplishing much before others, because we haven’t realized we can’t actually do it on our own), etc.

 
It is so desperately imperative that we know and believe what God says about who we are,
and He’s declaring it over us the same way He declared it over Jesus.
 

Satan has a whole plethora of lies that he’s waiting to whisper to us at just the right times to convince us that we’re the opposite of who God says we are, no wonder the Lord wants to prepare us ahead of time by telling us the Truth.
 
He speaking it – and we have a responsibility to listen, hear, believe…
and receive it.
 
And that’s our only responsibility for our identity.

 

One day last month I was in that pushing-people-away-mood and my teammate Lori decided she wasn’t buying it and wasn’t putting up with it anymore (I don’t blame her, it’s not cute).
 
Lori came into my room, sat on my bed, and told me point-blank that she was afraid to talk to me because I was so clearly not people-friendly lately, and I needed to cut it out.
 
Naturally, I denied it for about half a second…and then I started crying, admitting to her that I had no idea why I was acting that way and I couldn’t figure out who I was, that I couldn’t remember what I used to be so sure of (yes, in month 10 of the world race).
 
She let me wallow for about 2 minutes and then gave me an assignment to write down 10 biblical truths of who I am, and asked me every day for 3 days if I’d done it. I hadn’t, and it visibly broke her heart that I wouldn’t listen to her very wise instruction, but I had this debilitating impression that I needed to believe those biblical truths before I could write them down like they were true (which…y’know, they are), and I couldn’t make myself believe them.
 

Because my human thought is flawed, along with my human emotion and human perception.
 
Yours probably is too. For example, did you wake up this morning overwhelmed with the reality that Jesus died on a cross to atone for your sins, rose again, and ascended to heaven sending you his Holy Spirit to dwell inside you giving you full access to God in this lifetime and securing eternity in Heaven with Him?
 

No? I didn’t either, to be honest, and THAT proves our flawed thought because nothing else in the world will ever be as astonishingly wonderful as that truth.
 
So, If my human thought, in general, is flawed – then what I think about myself probably isn’t exempt.
 
But what the Bible says about me is true, because God says it is.
 
I may not “feel” like it’s true.
 
I may not believe at every moment that I shine like a star in a world of darkness (phil 2:15), but I do, because He said so…and what God says is true, is True.
 
He never asked us to strive until those things are true, He just asked us believe they are by believing in Him and His promise and ability to cloak us in Himself so fully that those truths are our identity – and He gave us the authority to declare them as such, so that we never have to question them again.
 
There is no need for you to sit on the floor, eyes shut to the world and the ugliness you think you bear, waiting for God to show up and tell you who you are again – He started declaring your identity over you before you were born, and He’s still going.

All you have to do is join the chorus – declare along with Him the Truths that make up your identity.
 
And if you’re not sure where to start, try some of these on for size (I promise they fit):
 

I am Chosen (2 tim1:9).
I am forgiven (col 1:14).
I am purposed (eph 3:11).
I am redeemed (gal 3:13).
I am anointed (2 cor 1:21).
I am appointed (2 cor 1:22).
I am accepted (1 cor 12:27).
I am pure (1 cor 6:19).
I am wise because I have the mind of Christ (1 cor 2:16).
I am worthy to receive the inheritance that I have in Christ Jesus (matt 10:29-31).
 
I am incandescent (Phil 2:15, Daniel 12:3).
 
[  There’s 11, Lori! :o)  ]
 
 
 
 
I am a naked soul clothed in the righteousness of Christ.
– Natalie Lynn Borton, Wonderfully Made blog