Sometimes I wanna scream…
Sometimes I wanna hide..
Sometimes I wanna run…
Sometimes I wanna do all the things I used to do…
The things I believed would get me by…
But they didn’t work then…
They left me high and dry…
So I sit…
And I let the silence come…
And I cry…
Not because I hate my life…
Not because of any awful circumstance…
But because I do have desires that feel unmet…
I have longings that cause my heart to ache…
Yet I’ve resolved to stop trying to fill those myself…
So I let the silence come…
Until I hear Him…
And then I cry more…
And I cry and I cry and I cry…like really ugly cry… (long pause)
And I don’t get how He loves me… (another long pause…)
Praise Jesus that it’s not a matter of me getting it that makes that Truth a Truth…
It’s true whether I believe it or not…
It’s true whether I feel loveable or not…
Praise the Lord for absolute truth that is not dependent on me…
Ha…I’m not crying anymore…
Now I’m smiling…
I guess praising the Lord just does that to me ☺
