This first week in Peru, our squad trainer came out to do sessions each night on vulnerability. Everyone was encouraged to share with the entire squad where they were with the Lord or current struggles, etc.
Story after story was shared. Many were shared from the women (because there are WAY more of us). They shared how they’d been hurt by men. Not many of our men shared about things like that. However, it got me thinking, “How have I hurt the men in my life?”
I’d be foolish to think that the men on my squad had made it this far in life without being hurt by a woman.
So, I wrote. I wrote my apology. I remembered I had confessed those things to the Lord several months ago. I remembered when I had gone through and forgiven things done to me. But this was different.
This was to be spoken.
So, last night, I addressed the men on my squad. And now, for any man reading this, I extend it to you. We’re never guaranteed an apology from the person that hurt us…sometimes they don’t know that they have…but we’re always asked to forgive.
So, men, I hope you can not only receive this from me, but as if it is from whatever woman may have hurt you…
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for hurting you.
I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough.
Or weren’t man enough.
I’m sorry for disrespecting you.
I’m sorry I tried to change you.
I’m sorry I tried to control you.
I’m sorry for using you.
I’m sorry for leading you on.
I’m sorry for turning you down harshly when you had the courage to pursue me.
I’m sorry for manipulating you, for taking advantage of you.
I’m sorry for not trusting you.
I’m sorry for talking bad about you.
I’m sorry for betraying you.
I’m sorry for leaving you.
I’m sorry for not seeing you.
I’m sorry for silencing you.
I’m sorry for not realizing how great you are.
I’m sorry for not honoring you.
I’m sorry I sought from you what only God can give.
So…I’m asking you to forgive…and know that you are forgiven.
I promise not so see you as another man from my past, and I’m asking you to not see me as a woman from yours.
You are new, and being renewed…as am I.
You are not responsible for redeeming what happened to me in the past…God is.
You just get to love me with the love He gives you to love with.
You don’t have to make up for anything.
I am not relying on you for who I am.
So just be…be the men you are…right where you are.
Love,
Kacie
