Hey y’all! I know it’s been a month since I’ve posted and it really shouldn’t have been that long, so I’m sorry! We are officially one month into the Race and I’m beginning to see the journey that the Lord is taking me on.
So how am I doing!?
To be honest, I have been struggling. I have been carrying an extremely heavy burden and the enemy’s attack has gotten quite severe. I have never experienced as much warfare as I have this last month. My faith, beliefs, identity, and spiritual foundation have been trailed and tested day after day. And quite frankly it has brought me more doubt, unbelief, discouragement, lonliness, anger, and tears than I have had in a long time. The Lord has also been bringing me through things that I thought I had gotten healing from but that’s not the case. He is revealing pain that I have simply suppressed and not dealt with in a healthy way. The burden is heavy and feels like it’s more than I can handle.
However, the truth is that the Lord is still by my side through all of this despite how I feel, and He sees me, and He will not allow me to experience more than I an bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). So I will continue to hold fast to what I know is true, honorable, worthy, right, confirmed by God’s Word, pure, whole, lovely, peace bringing, admirable, and excellent (Philippians 4:7-9). I know the Lord’s heart for me and I know that I am LOVED, MADE NEW, FREE, FAITHFUL, and a WARRIOR! And I will proclaim this every day till I die even if I don’t understand or feel it. The depth of His love is something I haven’t grasped yet. And it’s all I want right now because I know when we get it, it overcomes us and everything that’s in us! And it will radically change our lives in every way!! It’s unlike anything we’ve ever known and it doesn’t make sense!
The name that the Holy Spirit has continually spoken to me is Warrior. So I will not stop rejoicing and fighting every day, because I long to grasp how close my Papa in Heaven is to me and how much He loves me. I will fight for my faith, for my brothers and sisters, and for my Creator because I KNOW WHO I AM.
This is a season of healing, freedom, and training. I am not hopeless; though I can’t see the end to the pain and anger, I know that there is an end and I will have hope because I know the Fruit that will come from it will be greater, and sweeter than anything I can imagine. The Lord’s Will will be done and His plan is sovereign.
