I gave the enemy ground in my life. And I didn’t know it. How? I believed the lies he planted in my heart and mind. I’ve been believing lies my whole life and didn’t know it. Until the World Race and specifically, the second night in Peru.
This was the night that I realized for the first time the ways and roots for why I was struggling with anger, shame, doubt, lust, unbelief, fear, and distrust. Did I believe I could be set free? No. Did I believe the Lord could renew and redeem my struggles and temptations? No. Do I believe that I truly love myself. No. Do I believe I am enough? No. Do I believe God is truly all I need and that He is enough? No.
So what did and will I do with these things? Sit and wallow in them or just completely ignore them? Well I did that for way to long. The last 12 years probably. And I wasn’t willing or ready to admit that because I didn’t think that those things were an actual reality. I wasn’t ready to face them or actually say that I had the core issues of shame and doubt because I was, ironically, shameful that I struggled with them. But because of the Lord’s perfect timing and His omniscience – knowing when the right time to take me on this journey was – He waited until now. It’s brought me grief. That’s a fact. But what came after Jesus’ complete agony? Death to self, and New Life! Freedom, rejoicing, broken chains, loosened burdens, praising voices, and dancing feet!
So have I and will I dare to believe redemption and truth? Is that what I choose? Will I walk in blind faith or prideful obstinance?
I’ve been blind from truth for so long, what does it look like for Justus to walk into and choose freedom?
