A simple fact about me: I love the sky. I love it in every way possible. From the subtleties of a quiet morning sunrise to the day’s finale that screams the deepest hues of red and blue in a sunset. There was a handful of friends in Raleigh that I would text ‘Sky!’ to whenever the horizon scenery demanded full attention, and by golly, there were a lot of those moments. In my naturalistic disposition, the sky is my pathway of connecting with the Divine Creator.
There’s something about the Thai sky that is different than back home. I vehemently believe it’s a different sky entirely. During the day, it seems to expand further than possible and takes up more of your vision and peripheries than you’re able to handle. The clouds are bigger and fluffier, if you can even imagine, and the shades of blue during the day are just astounding.
It puts me in a pensive, giddy mood as I stare over the horizon. I recall a couple of nights ago when the sky exploded with stars. It was the clearest night of our Thai adventure thus far and the heavens opened up before us.
How can I describe it? It brings to mind Psalm 19:1, ‘The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.’ But I can’t ascribe glory enough to where glory is due. That’s the catch isn’t it? As I delve into the inexhaustible nature and character of the Lord Almighty, I discover that my position is in a liminal state. I see, feel, and know the beauty that is before me, but how can I express that? How can I explain that night I felt the Kingdom as much as I ever had in my heart. As the physical darkness blanketed the earth, I saw the spiritual darkness in our lives. Yet every star was a pinprick through that darkness, every star of heaven invading earth, and every star begging for the Son to bring forth glory upon glory. The physical distance of the stars from this miniscule being signifies (and does an injustice of) the outrageous love of the loving Father. Every single meter that it takes to reach even the closest star is His love coming with such force, unstoppable, pounding and hammering its way into our hearts. Brennan Manning describes us as the ‘chosen objects of His furious love.’ His love tearing into the depths of my heart has been the most gracious thing the Lord has ever done for me.
At times, I used to struggle with defining exactly what I feel. I used to sit for hours on end to encapsulate the state of my heart. But I’m okay with not being able to fully convey it now. I can’t exact what my heart knows because it’s derived from the Voice that can’t be heard by ears. As C.S. Lewis writes in his genius work Perelandra, ‘On the contrary, it is words that are vague. The reason why the thing can’t be expressed is that it’s too definite for language.’
I want you, yes you dear readers, to sit and wonder and ponder at the magnificence of the Lord. I pray He reveals new aspects of His infinite nature to your hearts. I pray that you feel His love because it IS tangible and incredible and absolutely and specifically for you. I pray that you lay aside things you’ve been taught and held on to for so long that were never true to the character of the Father. I pray you walk life with open hands and a teachable spirit because there is always more He wants to give you that goes beyond your scope of understanding. And lastly, I pray that the totality of the Gospel becomes overly and abundantly clear and increases the hunger stirring in your hearts.
