“So here I am playing a game with the devil himself,
He got his eyes peeled straight on me, try to take away my wealth.
And that’s fine, cause the dollars don’t make any sense to me at all.
You pile your chips high, as high as you want, but you’re never gonna have it all.
And you can run just as fast as you want to,
But you’re stuck with yourself ‘till the end.
Find yourself runnin’ round in circles, lookin for your oldest friends.
You can stack your chips as high as you’d like,
But you can never get it all.
So when the devil took my money, man he took my gold,
He took my wallet, and he took my watch,
And that was fine with me because he cannot ever get my soul.
Won’t ever get it, no!”
– OAR, “Crazy Game of Poker”
I’m back home! I remember listening to “Crazy Game of Poker” last April and realizing that I needed a radical shift of priorities in my life. I was caught up in the corporate America mentality of money, power, and personal achievement. The first half of this song talks about playing a game of cards with the Devil. I could completely relate because I gambled my life with the enemy for years. My thinking, "I've got a few dollars in my pocket…why not!" The second half of the song is about redemption and how the enemy can't win when you put your faith into things that aren't of the world. God had been jealous for my attention for years and I got real good at ignoring his whispers. My focus was on money and worldly things. But that day, listening to that song, it hit me that my life needed to change and that I needed to sign up for the World Race. That was the beginning of a complete change of my heart posture.
From April to training camp in October, my life slowly changed as I slowly embraced becoming a man of God. I struggled with letting go of the selfish life that I had led for so long. Training camp in mid-October was when I finally let go and let God in completely. You can read about that story in my “Puff, Puff, Pass” blog. Since then, God has continued to teach me and strip me of my selfish, entitled mentality that I used to operate out of.
While I wasn’t called to visit the remaining countries, God did call me into an 11-month journey. I now understand that my 11-month life changing spiritual journey…my World Race…started last April when I joined the January route. Without answering the call to the race I don’t know that my life would have changed. This isn’t the end of missions in my life…it’s the beginning of living out God's plan.
I’m being stripped of control. I have tasted and learned the importance of spending intimate time with Jesus. I discovered that I don’t have to strive or stress for acceptance, God desires us to live from a heart posture of rest and peace. I learned it’s NOT about me. It freaks me out how much God has changed my heart. I mean I was realllllyyyyyyy selfish and entitled to everything. I am living proof of what Jesus’ love can do in your life when you allow Him in. I was completely addicted to the world and now I’m completely addicted to the Spirit!
To my financial supporters — Without your support my journey would not have happened and my life would not have been changed. Thank you for being obedient and faithful to God when He asked you to support me. I’ll be sending out a letter with more stories and information so keep an eye out!
To C (WHAT!?), C SQUAD! — Thank you for being the coolest, loving, loyal, supportive community that I’ve ever been a part of. Thank you for teaching me how to love and serve better every day. God is doing huge things through you and I can’t wait to see everyone again at the final debrief!
To my friends and family — Thank you for loving me in every way possible. I would not be who I am today without your love and support. Special shout out to my sister who has been insanely supportive and loving through every part of my life. Sis — you inspired me to become a better man and you pushed me to the cross by living as a disciple. You set an incredible example for me while I was doing my whole own way thing. I know Mom, Dad, Neta, and myself are so proud of you! I feel like the most blessed man in the world to be surrounded by such amazing people.
I love you all!
