WARNING: Emotional and scattered post ahead, on my end at least.
I have always had this underlying fear of “What if I died today? Would I be proud of what I have done in this world? How could I have already made a real difference? Can I leave a lasting impact in the world with such little time?”
Hance Henrie showed me that I can.
Four years ago, Owasso, Oklahoma lost one of it happiest, kindest and loving members in a tragic accident. I can remember the gut-wrenching feeling of waking up to many texts, missed calls and messages either trying to wake me and share the news or get more information from me about what happened. I had not spoken to Hance in a long while, and had no idea what was going on. But I knew it was bad.
When I finally heard the news, I was at a loss for words. I had a minor position of spiritual leadership back home, and many friends looked to me for guidance or support. I remember sharing words of love, peace and sympathy. But I also remember that I was lying.
That day I lost my faith. God took a friend of mine and many others, and I was very hurt, confused, and angry.
There were many other factors at play, but this was the tipping point. Yet I also knew that there were people who needed some sort of emotional and, what I thought at the time was pointless, spiritual comforting. I didn’t want to let them down. So I kept it all to myself, and I put out the image of spiritual strength and almost stoicism in the face of this tragedy.
I held in my tears at Hance’s funeral out of spite toward God. I was mad at Him and I wanted to handle things my way. I will forever regret that because I have never felt so much pain in a single moment, and I selfishly chose to hold it all in.
But God used this experience, the very thing that angered me to the point of pulling my car over in the middle of the night and screaming at Him at the top of my lungs, to change my life for the best.
At his service, they showed a message he had shared, and I will never forget it. He spoke of how rhinos can run at 30mph, how a group of them is called a crash, and how although they can only see about 30 feet ahead of them, they continue to stampede because there is no stopping a crash of rhinos at 30mph. Hance encouraged us as the church to be a crash for the Gospel. Who cares if we can’t see what’s 30 feet ahead of us?! We know that Jesus is coming back soon, and there should no stopping us from telling the world about it!
I have regained my faith since then, and it is stronger than ever. The memory of Hance Henrie is one of the strongest forces behind my drive to share the Gospel without any reserve and go on adventures such as the World Race. Every conversation I have about Hance involves laughter, smiles and heads shaking at how hilarious and adventurous he was. I love to tell people about him and I want to continue to share his message about being a crash for the Gospel for as long as I can.
Today I got a tattoo in his memory, and I hope he likes it! We miss you Hance. Thank you for showing me just how much you can change the world, no matter how much time you have before you spend eternity with our Lord. You sure have changed the lives of everyone in Owasso and much more. Keep watching over us, brother!
