This past week of training camp was amazing! There is so much I could put into this blog, and more will come, but I want to focus on one of the highlights of my experience. On the final night of our sessions and worship, I felt The Holy Spirit moving in me and my World Race family. It started off with some random dancing, having fun trying to see who had the craziest dance moves. Everyone was jumping around and just letting it go, (and yes the men did have a dance off to “Let It Go”, but that story is for another time). Once we warmed up, the band started playing the first chord of the first song, I could feel a presence flood the whole pavilion. From the moment we started singing, I closed my eyes, sang loud, and raised my arms. At that moment I was transported from a pavilion worshiping with everyone, to I feeling like I was standing in the very presence of God and it was just Him and I. I was singing so loud, and I apologize to whoever was right next to me because I’m not the best singer, but while I was singing, I felt a call to go and pray over one of my squad mates. I walked over and began to pray with her, and while I was praying over her, I could sense a weight being taken off and a sense of peace come upon her. It’s a hard thing to describe and I can only attribute it to the Holy Spirit. I can see in the way she worshiped that God was bringing her comfort and peace and she started praising God with everything she had.
After a few more songs it was time for the message. As our speaker was coming up he just stood there in awe of what was going on. He sensed what all of us in that pavilion sensed; The Holy Spirit. Hands are raised, shouts of praise are heard throughout the pavilion, and prayers are being prayed. I looked up and saw the speaker looking at one of my squad mates named Liz. She is shouting out praises to God and celebrating the moment. The speaker brought the microphone over to her and her voice filled with praise erupted throughout the pavilion. It was so amazing to watch what God was doing through her in that moment. You could just see her excitement and passion. All I could do was smile and shout with her.
Later on the staff and former racers lined up facing those of us in the audience. They began asking us if there was anything on our hearts that could hold us back or any baggage we might be carrying, and if so, to bring it forward and speak with a staff member privately. I didn’t have to think about it, I just went. I found Matt, who had been working with my squad all week. He wore a shirt with Jesus on it and it said BRB( be right back). I begin to tell him how I felt so worn and burnt out because I was holding onto things. I was tired of trying to make everything work. I was trying to fix and take care of everything on my own instead of letting God in. I felt I wasn’t good enough because I was failing and always falling short. Matt started speaking some serious life into me. His words were tearing down the walls I had in my own life. He asked me, “Why are you working so hard to pay a debt that’s already been paid? Give it to God. Let go of everything you think you can handle and let God show you what He can do in this situation. You weren’t meant to hold this all on your own.” Then he said he felt God wanting me to know, “You are my son Justin.” In that moment tears began streaming down my face. The pain of feeling like a failure and always falling short was now in plain view. Matt grabbed my face in his hands and told me to look him in the eyes. He said to me, “God wants you to know it’s ok. I got you. You don’t have to be afraid. I am here. You’re not a failure. Your name is Justin and I love you and I created you for this very moment.” Wow, I felt the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders and I cried. After we finished, Matt hugged me and I felt at peace. I felt the comfort of God my Father break the chains I had forged in my life.
It’s such an amazing feeling of freedom to give it all to God and to be encouraged by the words He has for you. I knew in that moment I wasn’t a failure. I wasn’t defined by the past, I am defined by who my God says I am. My Father loves me and He created me for such a time as this. I felt God in a way I’ve never felt before in my life. This was only training camp. I can’t wait to see what the Lord has for me when I finally take that step out into the nations with my squad and team. We are going to be a force to be reckoned with. We are going to shake the nations with the praises we shout. God has called us to go and we are going. I can’t wait to begin this journey July 3rd. Signs, miracles, and wonders are going to happen and it’s all going to be for the glory of God.
