I am blessed to have grown up in a Christian household. My mother introduced me at an early age to the Gospel through my children’s bible and the bedtime prayers we would say together, as well as The Lord’s Prayer I remember reciting with my father. We went to church most Sundays and joined in fellowship afterwards with our friends in the congregation. So as long as I can remember, God and Jesus have always just been there. There was never a time I didn’t believe in Their existence.
In 1999, when I was in the third grade, I started attending a Baptist school. Every morning at eight o’clock my academic day began with Bible study lessons, and every Wednesday I looked forward to our weekly school Chapel service. I was so excited to start learning with my pink “big girl” Bible, you know, the one without the pictures, even though it was the school’s required KJV version. Honestly, what eight year old can actually understand that ye olde English?Translations aside, I learned a lot my third grade year about Jesus and the Bible, including my first intentionally memorized Bible verse, John 3:16.
It was at that time I decided to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. It was not by the pressure of my family or my teachers or any guilt I felt, but by understanding as much as I could that Jesus loved me and wanted to be my friend. On a level I understood the relationship between my sin, myself, and Jesus, but I really was childlike in my approach to Him. From then on, every Wednesday at the end of Chapel when students were invited to pray their acceptance of Jesus, I would always participate from my spot in the pews just to be sure. Saying in my eight year old little head voice, “Jesus, come into my heart!”, I would envision your stereotypical red geometric heart with a little door opening and inviting Jesus in who would always happily walk in.
As cute as all of that is, it wasn’t until college that I truly started pursuing a relationship with the Lord. Between the time I had left the Baptist school in the sixth grade until the end of high school, I was really only filled with head knowledge about the Lord. He just seemed really far away and I didn’t how to engage Him in a practical manner. Sure, I read my teen Bible, tried my best to follow the rules, and be a good person. If you asked me who God was and who did I believe in, I would have solidly said without hesitation, “Jesus”. I prayed, too, though a lot of the time that I did I felt like I was talking to the ceiling and wasn’t entirely sure He was hearing me.
I was super anxious about nearly everything in high school and heading into college. I had a pros and cons list for every decision that needed to be made and nearly drove myself and everyone around me crazy about grade perfection and building up my resume. All of my focus was on myself and making sure I could live the best, most productive and beneficial life I could. But it didn’t always occur to me to ask Him what He thought about my attempts and plans. There were certainly instances, however, when the Lord showed Himself to me, kept me from making stupid and detrimental decisions, and protected my physical well being.
Thank the Lord He is patient with us. Finally, during my freshman year of college at High Point University (HPU), I decided to take responsibility and actively work on my relationship with God. Help and encouragement came in the form of a neighbour across the hall who told me she had found out about a church not far from campus, and she invited me to go check it out with her. We went and loved it, and I stayed for the duration of the time I was at HPU. I started with praying regardless of whether or not I felt like God was listening. I had to have faith and trust that He was, just like His Word promised.
James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you”. I am hear to testify that this is so true. In the time I was searching for Him and seeking His face, I held on to this truth and stood on it in faith. And let me tell you, God shows up. He never left me, the even in the long stretches of silence. It was in that freshman year that I started hearing from Him with clarity, and that reading the Bible became a live, life changing experience. Over the years since then, the Lord has grown and stretched my faith more than I could have ever imagined. I have learned to expect the unexpected with Him, but to also expect that anything He brings my way is for my good and for His glory.
I have stories for days about how by saying “yes” to Him has unlocked the wildest, craziest (and to some, seemingly reckless) most abundant life I would have never imagined. However, I have also found out that just because you have Jesus in your life doesn’t make it any easier, just easier to manage because Ruler of the universe is for us, not against us.
Life with Jesus is such an adventure. I love living for Him and with Him. As of this year, it has been 20 years since I invited Jesus into my life and accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour. Yeah, that seems like a long time, but I still have so much to learn from Him, so much to walk through with Him, and so many more people with whom I can share my testimony.
In closing, if you’re reading this, God loves you. He is there holding out His hands to take yours and shoulder your burdens. He is so kind and patient, and no matter how many circles you run yourself around trying to make sense of things, He won’t ever give up on you. In the spaces and gaps between prayers and trips to church, He is still waiting for you to come back and rest in His presence.
God bless,
Julita xoxo
