how much is that banana worth?

weighing and measuring bananas. 

the Lord is taking me on a courageous journey. i am learning
the lesson of  ‘being vs. doing.’ i
am learning to come to the end of myself, and in the process He is revealing
systems of ‘weighing and measuring’ that are hindering my growth. let me
explain…

 

lets pretend we are at the grocery store or outdoor market
and we grab some bananas. when we are ready to purchase them, the person will
weigh them in order to determine their value.

 

United States: bananas are approx. .50 cents per lb

Moldova: bananas are approx. 8.4 lei per kg (.71 cents per
kg)

 

let’s state the obvious…no matter how much the bananas end
up weighing, it will not measure whether or not they will be any good. the cost
per lb/kg is determined by location and time of year. not by how good they
taste.

 

allow me to apply this to myself. let’s pretend the bananas
represent all the things i ‘do.’

i have come to the realization that i often ‘weigh’ what i
‘do’ in order to measure how good i am. my works can no more measure my value
than a banana’s price per lb/kg measures its tastiness. are you following me?

 

after years of ‘doing’ i have found myself completely
exhausted. physically. emotionally. mentally. and spiritually. obviously this
is not how the Lord wants me to feel. so something is misaligned. here is
something i recently wrote to a friend of mine, “i am a “doer” by
nature…it’s not a bad thing when it’s done in a healthy way. but when i
“do” out of a place of needing to feel confident, secure, in control,
or because ‘if i don’t do it, who will’…it’s not healthy. so i am trusting
Him to show me what it means to “be.” this month is about me coming
to the end of myself. that’s a great thing. and i’m no longer afraid of the
process.�

so this is where i find myself: realizing that what i ‘do’
doesn’t determine who i am. so…how do i know who i am, if i can’t be measured
by what i do?

 

just today i was listening to a podcast by bill johnson,
pastor of bethel church in redding, ca. God is so awesome when it comes to
speaking and revealing Truth to His children. He is always clear as long as we
take time to listen. here is what pastor bill said:

 

“often times we weigh our spirituality, we weigh or measure
faith, or measure success, or measure maturity by outcome instead of our
ability to embrace and celebrate process. process is one of the most important
parts of the Christian life that I believe is seriously misunderstood.�

 

in other words, the outcome (or product or what we ‘do’)
becomes our system of weighing and measuring, instead of the process (or
‘being’).  in my next blog i will
share what i’ve learned so far about ‘being.’