when i was a kid i was never part of the “popular� crowd.
that’s not to say i was unpopular…because i wasn’t. i was the one that got
along with just about anyone. i was friends with the jocks, the
skaters/surfers, the intellects, the outcasts, the creative crowd, the
slackers, etc. i had people’s respect. because frankly, i didn’t care about
what they could do. i liked them for who they could be. and here’s the
kicker…if you didn’t like me…i really didn’t care. because i knew who i was.
what i stood for. and i liked myself.
that’s not to say i was unpopular…because i wasn’t. i was the one that got
along with just about anyone. i was friends with the jocks, the
skaters/surfers, the intellects, the outcasts, the creative crowd, the
slackers, etc. i had people’s respect. because frankly, i didn’t care about
what they could do. i liked them for who they could be. and here’s the
kicker…if you didn’t like me…i really didn’t care. because i knew who i was.
what i stood for. and i liked myself.
during my college years i lost sight of myself. i lost my
identity. i struggled. a lot. i made poor choices and i paid a high price for
it. but by the grace of God, a few years ago, i got my identity back. and He
reminded me of the call on my life. so if i seem somewhat intense and passionate in my actions
and vocabulary, it’s because i refuse to slip back into my old patterns of idle
behavior and destructive thinking.
identity. i struggled. a lot. i made poor choices and i paid a high price for
it. but by the grace of God, a few years ago, i got my identity back. and He
reminded me of the call on my life. so if i seem somewhat intense and passionate in my actions
and vocabulary, it’s because i refuse to slip back into my old patterns of idle
behavior and destructive thinking.
this is the call on my life. this is who i am:
i am a peacemaker.
i am His voice for
justice.
justice.
i am noble.
those are three very powerful attributes. and if i’m not
careful they can easily get to my head. i have to walk in humility and
obedience. i have to have self-discipline. i must have integrity. i cannot
afford to interact outside of His Holy Spirit. with that being said…i am also
not perfect. but His grace is sufficient and i am learning to rest in it. i am
learning to take correction. and i’m also learning greater discernment.
careful they can easily get to my head. i have to walk in humility and
obedience. i have to have self-discipline. i must have integrity. i cannot
afford to interact outside of His Holy Spirit. with that being said…i am also
not perfect. but His grace is sufficient and i am learning to rest in it. i am
learning to take correction. and i’m also learning greater discernment.
people talk about the “jr high years� and how they are
difficult due to peer pressure and fitting in. in my life i have found that my
jr high years were nothing compared to my years as an adult. the older i get,
the more i am aware of everyone else’s opinion and judgment. it makes me press
all that much deeper into the Lord. some days are easier than others. some
nights are more restful than others. it’s a process.
difficult due to peer pressure and fitting in. in my life i have found that my
jr high years were nothing compared to my years as an adult. the older i get,
the more i am aware of everyone else’s opinion and judgment. it makes me press
all that much deeper into the Lord. some days are easier than others. some
nights are more restful than others. it’s a process.
i think about David’s life and draw parallels to my own. the
Lord anointed him king one moment and the next he finds himself hiding out in a
cave, alone, fleeing for his life. i’ve experienced the “cave� moments. where
it’s just the Lord, and me, thinking, “what the hell is going on? i thought you
said (fill in the blank)…but i’m experiencing (fill in the blank)…� i have
prayed the same prayers of David, “How
long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from
me? How long must i wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my
heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?� (psalm 13:1-3)
Lord anointed him king one moment and the next he finds himself hiding out in a
cave, alone, fleeing for his life. i’ve experienced the “cave� moments. where
it’s just the Lord, and me, thinking, “what the hell is going on? i thought you
said (fill in the blank)…but i’m experiencing (fill in the blank)…� i have
prayed the same prayers of David, “How
long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from
me? How long must i wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my
heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?� (psalm 13:1-3)
i’ve also spoken the words of Paul, “If God is for (me) then who can be against (me)?� “Who will bring any
charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.� (Romans
8:31b;8:33) The Bible says that our work will be “revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s
work� (1 Corinthians 3:13b).
charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.� (Romans
8:31b;8:33) The Bible says that our work will be “revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s
work� (1 Corinthians 3:13b).
So what’s my point?
The call on my life doesn’t always mesh well with popular
opinion. In fact, i would venture to say that what i know, that i know, that i
know doesn’t sit well with most people. Christian and non-Christain. And
sometimes, being a peacemaker doesn’t always mesh well with being a voice for
justice. Sometimes i am called to ruffle
feathers instead of untangle knots. And so (in this season of spiritual
maturity) i find myself praying the verses above. They are somewhat
contradictory, but transparent. i
believe i won’t stay here much longer. my confidence in Christ is growing
everyday. and when i find myself entertaining popular opinion, i have to remind
myself:
opinion. In fact, i would venture to say that what i know, that i know, that i
know doesn’t sit well with most people. Christian and non-Christain. And
sometimes, being a peacemaker doesn’t always mesh well with being a voice for
justice. Sometimes i am called to ruffle
feathers instead of untangle knots. And so (in this season of spiritual
maturity) i find myself praying the verses above. They are somewhat
contradictory, but transparent. i
believe i won’t stay here much longer. my confidence in Christ is growing
everyday. and when i find myself entertaining popular opinion, i have to remind
myself:
Not even God can please everybody.
