I have narcolepsy. Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder associated with extreme daytime drowsiness and the overwhelming urge to sleep. If you’ve heard of narcolepsy you may think of it with cataplexy as well, which is falling asleep uncontrollably. Thankfully, I do not have cataplexy, but I do struggle with excessive tiredness. The science behind it is that when someone with narcolepsy falls asleep, they skip the first 4 stages. My only stage of sleep is REM, and although that’s the good sleep, there’s no fading into or out of it which causes the extreme tiredness during the day.
To give a little backstory, I was diagnosed after my freshman year of college and have learned a lot from trying to manage my sleep disorder. Balance has always been a struggle for me, but once I was diagnosed, I worked a little harder to find balance in my day to day. I’ve never been more adamant about self-discipline before this clearly defined obstacle made its way into my life. This disorder actually helped me find order. I’m a firm believer that some of our biggest obstacles produce our greatest growth.
I don’t mean to sound like I have a solid grip on managing it all the time because there are times when I sleep for 18 hours at a time or lay down for a short nap and wake up wondering what year it is. It has its ups and downs.
Freshman year of college, I heard about the World Race and it struck a chord in my heart. But this idea faded from the forefront after being diagnosed with narcolepsy and struggling to manage it. Despite the doubts, I would often find myself on the World Race website reading racers’ blogs and feeling the Holy Spirit teach me through them. The race was something that repeatedly captured my attention little bits at a time throughout college, but I didn’t necessarily picture myself going. Little did I know, God was slowly giving me glimpses of an invitation to this journey with him.
First semester of senior year, I went to a night of worship and I felt the Lord speaking “Cambodia” over my heart. This was definitely out of the norm and I couldn’t get any clarification on what that meant. Should I pray for Cambodia?
I went home, finished my homework, and went to bed. Despite being really tired, I couldn’t fall asleep. (Again, definitely out of the norm). I pulled my laptop onto my bed and went to the World Race website. Several of the race routes had Cambodia listed. My heart fluttered, I sighed, and went to sleep.
Several instances later of confirmation from the Lord that He was inviting me on this journey, I decided to tell my family and start the application process. I knew I would face some opposition, but definitely not to the extent to which I did. Thankfully, in facing those disagreements, I knew their worries were coming from a place of love. The biggest worry was endurance/stamina. A lack of sleep causes a weak immune system which causes illness, and so on and so forth. I’m not blind to those worries, and they did come to mind initially, but the pull my heart felt to the race was more powerful.
Three years ago, I worked at Camp War Eagle, a Christian summer camp for underprivileged kids in Northwest Arkansas. When my time at camp started, I thought I was going to die from exhaustion. It was the first time in my life where I learned what it actually meant to rely on the Lord for strength. I had called on him to help me with strength before, but never to actually BE my one source of strength when I had nothing left. He showed up big time and it rocked my world.
He’s done it before and He’ll do it again. Faithful He has been and faithful He will be. I’m not going to lie, I thought training camp would be a nightmare for me when it came to rest/sleep. I thought I’d struggle big time, and have to desperately call on God to renew my strength. But the weird thing is, I didn’t have to. I felt great. For ten whole days, I felt full and alert. That’s not to say I relied on my own energy. I’m fully confident He went before me and He provided rest. I was tired for sure, but the normal people kind of tired. I smiled every time I thought about it. Thank you, Jesus.
I know there will be times on the race that I fall to my knees and ask God for strength. I’m ready for that. But I’m also confident He will go before me.
I’d like to conclude with a verse most of us know, but look at it with different points of emphasis. Our world race coach, Julie, taught us this at training camp!
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
Thanks for hanging with me this far! I pray that God renew your strength today and that you give him room to show himself faithful. Love and blessings to everyone!
