My mom told me when I was growing up I always had a natural curiosity for unfamiliar places. As I’ve grown older that still holds true but on a much larger scale…I have always wanted to be where I am not…call it wanderlust if you want. And for most of my teenage and adult years I would often find myself thinking, “There’s gotta be more.” That phrase ended up being a burning desire in my heart until finally a small voice told me to “Go.”
When I left America 8 months ago I thought that my city of Indianapolis was going to be the only place that ever felt like home. It was comfortable, I had great family and friends, and it’s where I grew up.
“Wont you be homesick?”
During my preparation for leaving for the World Race and throughout the course of these last 8 months, this is one of the most common questions people ask me. Pridefully I would answer, “No. I’ll miss you guys but I don’t think I’ll get homesick.” I felt confident in that answer because for some reason I thought, “Even though it’s been nice living in Indianapolis, it’s also been really uncomfortable living here.” In a way, I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t really fit in there.
The truth is though…Yes, I was and am homesick. But it’s not that simple.
“Home is where your heart is.”
I know you’ve probably heard this quote a thousand times, (I have too) but it holds new meaning for me now.
I used to picture my little house in Indianapolis surrounded by my friends and family…Now a slideshow of memories from several countries plays in my head.
I am homesick. But now I’m not just homesick for Indianapolis..I’m homesick for my friends and family in Africa, Asia, and Nicaragua. And when I leave Costa Rica, I’ll be homesick for San Jose too. So far, I’ve made homes in 9 VERY different places. And, in each home I’ve made, it has brought on new experiences and challenges and has felt familiar and unfamiliar all at once. My heart overflows with memories of the places and people I’ve fallen in love with in each country, but it also aches every time I have to say goodbye. I’ve left a piece of my heart in every place I’ve been. It’s a beautiful and painful feeling all at the same time.
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. There are many rooms in my fathers house. I am going there to prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you with me so that you may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
-John 14:1-4
What I’ve learned is that my natural curiosity, comfortability and uncomfortability in different places are gifts from God. My home is everywhere and nowhere. And until this life is over, I’ll always have that small voice that told me to “Go” giving me the desire to keep going.
“You know the way to the place that I am going.” -John 14:4
I’ve discovered along the way to that place, He wants “Everything I do, to be done in love”, to “love my neighbors as myself”, to “help the least of these”, and to “go into the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”
My wanderlust isn’t just a desire to be where I am not, it’s a desire of my heart to be home in the place that God has uniquely prepared for us in Heaven.
photo credit: Hector Claudio
