My clothes are washed, dried, and folded.
I slept in my bed, had a shower and three hours of sleep.
The fridge is overwhelming.
My neighborhood is overwhelming.
Being alone is sad.
Everything is too quiet and too much.
I cry about something every 15 minutes.
It feels like a year was just a blink.
I miss my squad family.
My room was too empty…
My thoughts and emotions are foreign to everyone back home.
Its comforting that we are all experiencing the same thing…I just wish they were here.
I cried driving home and recognizing every road and road sign.
I cried seeing our giant house… I can drink tap water.
The fridge and food options are too much.
I cried in the shower realizing it was all over.
I cried when my feet stepped on carpet and when I was handed my new pillow and giant fleece blanket.
I laid down in my bed in a massive quiet room all by myself and youtubed “See you again” and asked the Lord to give me rest in spite of feeling overwhelmed by every emotion and memory.
I cried when I got up three hours later at 6:30am and walked out into my backyard just because I could.
I cried when my dad came downstairs because he’d heard me wake up and gave me a hug.
I cried when I went to grab a mug for coffee and even with a house packed to move, they had left my elephant mug out.
Its been more comforting than words can tell to be texting my squad mates as they wake up too and we are all walking through the same thing. Talking with someone who knows…no explanation needed.
Im comforted knowing that I have time to be… that there is grace for transition and that the sweet presence of Jesus is constant and real.
Ephesians 1: 11-12
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God
Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord
(Ephesians 4)
