Three years ago I was sitting in my dorm room at the beginning of my sophomore year of college. I was doing some personal research about the commercial sex industry specifically in India… my heart was breaking as I read and heard the stories of each person. I remember being so lost for words that id just cry. Papa was just beginning to place something in my heart at that time- something that would explode and eventually take over my life.
There was one specific day that id just finished watching a short video about one girls story, id connected with her so much – id never been trafficked or raped but id known abuse and id known all too well what it felt like to be unwanted, unworthy, and unloved.
“What can I do? I’m just me. What do I have to offer?” I asked as I cried
Papa answered very simply : “Your life”
He then started to give me glimpses of what id see in my life…the places, people and moments that he’d lead me to all over the world.
*Three Years Later*
“Do you want to speak tonight if there is an opportunity?” my team leader on the race asked
“uhhh…yea…yea I can do that” I replied
we didn’t know what situation we were heading into that evening but I was willing to be a mouthpiece …whatever that meant- I just took a moment to ask Papa to speak to my heart. luckily our drive to our ministry location last night was about an hour long so i was glad to have time to think and listen.
We didn’t know what was expected of us as a team once we arrived but we were headed to a children’s hostel/school….
Little Indian children…these are the ones who my heart broke for those years back …how neat that the first time id speak on the race would be to the ones who Papa laid on my heart so long ago.
“If you only had one chance – what would you tell them from me?”
“If you only had one chance what would you call out of them?”
My heart started to leap as I thought of how amazing this moment was …. we were going to a rural area in southern india …we were going to the nations!!!
Im not sure how to explain this evening and how significant it was for me but ill just trust that y’all will be able to understand at least somewhat haha
My cheeks hurt by the end of two hours..im not sure if I’ve ever smiled so much in my life …every single one of their faces shone.
We were introduced to the boys and girls and they hadn’t planned for any of us to speak but somehow I got about two minutes to share whatever Holy Spirit laid on my heart … He told me to go after Identity.. calling out their Identity and their worth in the eyes and heart of the King..their Daddy! I couldnt believe that I was given the opportunity…what a platform …such an honor!
They had a short assembly and then they split the boys and girls up in their different hostels and we got to go to the girls one first where I hadnt planned to have another few minutes to speak but then I was offered the chance again to take a few minutes to speak, so not knowing what I was going to say I started to speak and Papa delivered! It was all on Identity and being free to draw close to their Daddy. I stood their looking at these beautiful precious girls…the ones id traveled about 32 hours on planes, buses, and vans to love on and share Papas heart with and my heart exploded.
Im in India.
This is the nations.
These are Papas loved ones.
They are His heart.
Afterwards the girls flocked us with notebooks asking us to sign our names …so many smiles 🙂
I wrote my name and I heard Him say “Will you share what I say about them?”
So for every notebook that was handed to me I wrote my name I quickly asked Papa who He said they are.
You are…
fearless
loved
cared for
a warrior
bold
worthy
desired
As I sat there looking at the kids Papa asked my heart a series of questions that I just wanted to weep in response to:
“Would you do it for them?”
“Would you go tired for them?”
“Would you spend it all for them?”
“Would you tell them who I say they are?”
“Would you go for them?”
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. and Yes.
He flashed my life story through my eyes, every significant moment up to that point that had led me to them and asked “Is it worth it?”
Yes.
We only got to spend about two hours there and in the moment I hadn’t realized the impact those moments had on me..I only knew that I was gushing and couldnt contain my heart for them.
That hour long drive back to our home Papa reminded me of so many things and brought such clarity for what had just happened.
He had just started to fulfill a promise made three years ago.
He had told me that id be in India for at least a few years, that id love on and call out the destinies of children who didnt yet know their worth. That id get to share with them how precious they are, how fierce they are and how powerful they are. To tell them what their Daddy thinks of them – how proud He is and how He longs for them.
Im still holding out on the promise to see lives changed, families, neighborhoods, communities, cities changed because generations are changing by the love of Papa God.
“Step into your anointing – step into this new territory. Your heart has burned for this, now walk in it!” were the words Papa spoke as we drove away and I sat in awe of the night.
That night I got to see a few visions come to life! And I just can’t get over it!
its hard to believe that this is still just the beginning of the year, it gives me such a hope and excitement for everyday thats ahead. Its tiring and not the most comfortable lifestyle but its so beautiful. I came to love because I was first loved so whatever love looks like…thats what I want to look like.
In the next few days my team will go to a different ministry site nearby in India where we will spend about a week before we head to Nepal with our whole squad.
At our second ministry we will be with children who have been affected by HIV/AIDS in some shape or form and after the other night Im stoked for what thats going to look like!
Im not sure what internet connection will look like there either so please be patient in waiting for blogs and pictures 😀
Thank you for prayers, thank you for support, thank you for encouragement….Thank you that I’m here!!
I want to share more amazing stories with you so please keep pressing in with me! 😀
