I took out my camera a total of 3 times at training camp. Something in me wanted to live more in the moment than I had in the past. (Yes, Sorry, that does mean that I personally don’t have many pictures to show you! Grateful for squad mates who were diligent in taking them though cause I will be using theirs to show you what this past week looked like shortly!)
“Have no expectations” I went into camp with hands and heart open just wanting to see what Papa had for me and I’m so glad to say it paid off! Sure there are the stories of sleeping on a bus and eating fish head soup but thats just a portion of what training camp is all about. They do break down your western cultural norms through weird situations like sleeping under a tarp in the middle of the woods with crazy loud bull frogs, taking away your port-a-potty for a night, community tents for a night, eating with your hands, eating on the floor, not showering for several days on end (or in my case a whole week), bucket showers, etc. All the things above are just the physical parts of camp that make it ‘not so comfortable’ …they are meant to bring the squad together and prepare us for other cultures more than anything else …its the spiritual and emotional stuff they are really going after. Papa is after his kiddos hearts.
Whats the biggest thing Holy Spirit did in me during training camp?
He loved me as a Mama.
‘Papa God’ is someone I’m very comfortable with …’Father’….’Daddy’ ….all of those are just a given for me..I am close with this aspect of God. However, he doesnt just want to be my Papa, but also my Mama. I knew from the first night of camp that we were going after this mother relationship and it was even further confirmed when a squad mate gave me the word of “precious daughter” …Mama was speaking that one over me.
Mama wanted to give me the nurturing love I have so craved and childhood memories of the two of us. It sounds strange to suggest that God gave me visions of new childhood memories of his love as a Mama..but thats what he did.
We sang this song at camp and it broke me ( I exchanged every “Abba” for “Mama” cause thats how I heard it and sang it to my Mama at camp)
Abba
Jonathan David Helser
You’re more real than
The ground I’m standing on
You’re more real than
The wind in my lungs
Your thoughts define me
You’re inside me
You’re my reality
Mama, I belong to You
Mama, I belong to You
You’re closer than the
Skin on my bones
You’re closer than the
Song on my tongue
Your thoughts define me
You’re inside me
You’re my reality
Mama, I belong to You
Mama, I belong to You
Mama, I belong to You
Refreshing is a good word to use ….It felt like the air coming in my lungs had just increased its oxygen capacity and I could breathe easier..fuller. The relationship of mother & daughter with me and the Lord has just now started…and its something I’m going after cause I know how completely freeing it has the power to be in my life – Its worth the hard work.
Not really sure why this took me by surprise haha of course this area needed redeeming and healing and of course we were going to go after it. “tender’ has been a big descriptor word for me at camp…cause Mamas are tender.
Although I don’t have many pictures I do have a new relationship with God as my Mama. Ill take that over pictures of an earthly experience any day 🙂
*** to clarify: we did not have fish head soup this time at camp haha
