Let me first tell you a little about South Africa …
I went to Cape Town South Africa in the summer of 2012 with a team from my school on a mission trip for 10 days at the beginning of summer. We did all sorts of stuff: teaching kids, planting gardens, playing games with kids, door to door ministry, prayer walking, etc. One of the days we were there my team went to a church/orphanage in the middle of a township/slum, our plans took a detour because the previous night the pastors car had been broken into (first vandalism they had had on that property). Our plans were to go out into the township and basically go door to door asking people if we could pray with them or help them in any way that day but the pastor was set to be our translator and he had to deal with his car and the police report instead. We were initially disappointed…until all of the kiddos started waking up and coming out into the play yard- we quickly figured out how we were going to do ministry that day: play with kids! One little girl couldn’t get enough of my hair (back when I had it), I held her and she twisted and braided over and over again …it sounds uneventful ….non radical but that hour and a half she played with my hair was ministry. She taught me that sometimes ministry is sitting back and not forcing your agenda – ministry might mean that you do something that you would have never considered under the category of ‘helping’ – that little girl smiled and laughed and although we couldn’t communicate through speech I knew she felt loved and cared for. I got to pray for her the entire time I was holding her and ask the Lord to bless her. It was beautiful.
Later that day we were finally able to go out into the township…it was me and 3-4 of our team (some opted to stay back with the kids). I knew it was going to be a stretch for me…I didn’t know what going door to door looked like or how you would begin a conversation …I just went. If you have ever seen pictures of these places, or perhaps you have been fortunate enough to drive by or through one of these areas- I still argue that you haven’t done it justice till you’ve walked through these streets and seen inside these homes. I don’t know how long we walked around. I couldn’t speak…no, not I was speechless…I literally couldn’t speak. I hadn’t said a word the entire time we were walking until one of my team members asked me if I was okay and all I could get out was the answer, ‘no’ and with it I broke down. The whole time we had been walking my heart had been breaking, the only thing keeping me together was the fact that I could keep it bottled up and now the seal had been broken and I began to cry. I wasn’t afraid, nervous, grossed out – I was broken for these people.
That whole afternoon my most powerful tool and weapon had been prayer, because I could do nothing else…at the time I felt helpless, I didn’t know just how powerful prayer is.
That brings me to my time on the Race
To understand why I am about to say what I am about to say, you first have to know that I empathize with others.
I expect to be a complete and total hot mess for the Kingdom during these 11 months.
I am going to see things, hear things, experience things that will break my heart, make me cry, want to get on my knees and intercede without ceasing. Ill hurt and struggle with these experiences for more than just a moment – it will be a breaking of my heart to make it less like Julie and more like Jesus. Ill struggle with the promises of the Lord and searching for them in places you would last expect them, aka: his goodness. I’ll meet sons and daughters of the King who have access to His inheritance but don’t know it or don’t care. One of the things I hate most about the enemy is when he lies about identity – and I can guarantee ill frequently meet and become friends with people who struggle with these lies. It’s not the enemies territory and never has been – he preys on the broken because they are hungry to find any worth.
The Lord is also going to uproot a lot of lies and strongholds in my life…when you put yourself in a position for the Lord to do a beautiful work – He doesn’t ask twice- He gets started. I’ll be uncomfortable and vulnerable most days …I’ll die more to self and walk more in my Kingdom identity.
I can assure you that I won’t come back the same- I’ll be wrecked in the best possible way.
I’ll learn to love in a capacity that I’ve never known, I’ll learn what selflessness truly means, I’ll learn how to even more hear the voice of the Lord and no matter what He says to go or stay without hesitation. I want to learn how to be a child again- to laugh and be filled with joy, wonder, and awe – I want to play. I want to let down my walls, I want healing to break forth, I want breakthrough with Holy Spirit. I want more of the Fathers heart.
I want to be a hot mess for the Kingdom.
