My junior year I decided to declare my major in nursing. I had always said I wanted to be a doctor, but chose nursing instead. I wanted to make sure I had time with my future family and nurses get to have a more personal relationship with patients/family at bedside.
I graduated in 2009 with my B.S.N and then moved back to Natchez for a few months to work after taking my state boards. I had applied at Vanderbilt University Medical Center for their program they have for new nurses. I later found out in November I had been accepted to the VUMC program and would begin working in January.
I would start working on a Cardiovascular Step-down Unit (where heart patients go after surgery or before). My mom actually was scheduled for her open-heart surgery the week I started working on the floor. My first year at Vandy flew by and met some really amazing people and patients along the way. Some of them will never know the impact they had….just the words they spoke into my life.
In 2009 I started “googling” in search for a mission trip and the World Race actually came across in the search. I opened the site up and began crying as I read their vision and watched the videos. I had no idea there were other people out there that felt this same way in my heart that I did. I was looking for a way out, as I was tired of running and trying to do things on my own.
My last wake-up call came New Year’s Eve in NYC 2010. I had flown up to meet with some friends and we were all out one night. We ended up getting separated and a stranger (my angel) found me in the streets of NYC. I don’t remember much except for the fact I arrived safely back to the hotel where we were staying…how? I can only say it was my angel.
This is where I decided to turn my eyes back to Jesus. I made a promise to God and myself I wouldn’t drink any alcohol for an entire year and focus on feeling and allowing Him to help me.
After years of struggles and falling away from the Lord, this couldn’t have been the more perfect time to get back to following after Him and starting afresh. The World Race kept coming up in the back of my head and knew I would do it…just not sure when. I had a 3-year contract at Vanderbilt, which was up October 2013. In January 2013, I finally decided this is the year to go on this big adventure. I prayed about it and felt the Lord telling me to, “just go”. I applied in February 2013 and I think we know the rest is history now.
Within the last year and a half I have finally felt like I’m back on track and know I will continue to face temptations, trials, struggles, but that if I continue to fix my eyes on Jesus, He’ll always be there reaching out His hand….He is a loving God that doesn’t point fingers and condemn you. He is a compassionate God who reaches out waiting for you to latch on. His love is pure and real- it’s not counterfeit.
If you could take anything out of me sharing my story with you….I would want you to know that no matter how old you are, where you are at right now, what you are struggling with…whether you grew up in the church or not…God is right there with you this very moment. He sees your struggles and He’s a God who relentlessly pursues you no matter your circumstance. He’s so patient and willing to continue waiting for you to turn around and say, “ok, God, enough is enough…I can’t do this my way anymore.”
One of the things I kept feeling was that I had strayed away so far and how could God ever use me. That is an absolute lie from the enemy to keep you bound my your past. God CAN use you and He WILL use you. No matter how far you think you have dug yourself into the ground….He can plant your feet back on solid ground.
Your identity isn’t determined by your past or what you have done. I have done some pretty messed up things, but God is soooo much bigger than our mess. I know my identity is settled at the Cross…where He shed His blood for me and you. We don’t have to remain shackled to shame. Satan wants to torment you because even he knows the potential that lies in your life because he knows how strong and mighty our God is.
God shed my shackles of shame and I promise He can do the same for you…wherever you are currently in your walk of life. He’s just waiting for you…..
Please feel free to e-mail or contact me if you are going through something right now and just need someone to talk with or even pray for you.
“My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.” Psalm 57:7-11
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Matthew 9:12
“Awake my soul
For you were made to meet your maker”
