“The orphan spirit causes one to live life as if he does not have a safe and secure place in the Father’s heart. He feels he has no place of affirmation, protection, comfort, belonging, or affection. Self-oriented, lonely, and inwardly isolated, he has no one from whom to draw Godly inheritance. Therefore, he has to strive, achieve, compete, and earn everything he gets in life. It easily leads to a life of anxiety, fears, and frustration.” –Jack Frost
What comes to mind when you hear the word orphan?
Some of the things that first come to my mind are….
Abandonment.
Loneliness.
Unwanted.
Isolation.
When God created us, He created us to be adored, treasured and to belong. He made us perfect in His image. Whether you come from a family raised by your mother/father/grandmother/grandfather or from a family who was fatherless or motherless…we all experience this orphan spirit at some point in our lives.
Have you ever felt a sense of abandonment, loneliness, unwanted and isolated? Even as believers we can experience this without realizing and calling it what it is…an orphan spirit.
Today I was playing with the children and just allowing God to speak to me through their actions. Some of them scream and cry as soon as you put them back down because they long for the physical touch of someone holding them. They immediately feel abandoned when you no longer hold them or show them attention. You can look some of them in the eyes and see how lonely they are and long for that mother/father figure in their life.
As I began thinking about all of these things… I was reminded how many times throughout my life when I stumbled away from God, feeling like an orphan. I felt lonely like something was missing. I was blessed to have a father and mother growing up, but I was still missing something….So rather than seeking my Heavenly Father…I chose to seek other people. I sought after their attention, their love, their affection. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to feel accepted by others. I wanted them to fill this void inside of me. I wanted to draw near to someone and no longer feel isolated or lonely. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to feel valued. I wanted to feel adored. I wanted to feel treasured. I wanted all of these things no human can possibly make me feel because this is only a void God can fill.
When I first decided to turn my life around in college after finally feeling like nothing was going anywhere….I turned to an organization that was coming to campus. They were seeking people who loved the Lord and were willing to help out with a camp. I went to meet with one of the gentleman for a semi- interview. They began asking questions from how I was raised, to where I was at in my walk with the Lord, to then asking me to state bible scripture as they named off the chapter and verse.
I immediately felt like a failure.
No, I couldn’t tell you what so and so scripture was…the only one I could probably tell you would be “Jesus wept” and “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
I could tell you how much I love the Lord with all of my heart. I could tell you how broken I was. I could tell you how much I wanted to change. I could tell you how I wanted to do things right. But why was I rejected by the church? I felt abandoned and I isolated myself even further away from God. I felt unwanted. I felt lonely. I felt like an orphan.
I felt like I had failed God because I didn’t know scripture and like I wasn’t good enough because I was still struggling with sin.
What I don’t understand is why we as a church make people feel this way?
What would happen if we didn’t reject the people who come to us seeking help in the midst of their struggles…in the midst of their pornography…in the midst of their alcoholism…in the midst of their drug addictions…in the midst of their homosexuality? Sometimes we think we can change others…point fingers in people’s faces…telling them what they should and shouldn’t do.
What would happen if we love them just as Jesus does? No, this doesn’t mean we agree with the sin, but love the sinner just as Jesus would. Yes, Jesus called people’s sin out and showed them tough love…because He wants them to turn from their sinful ways and fully devote themselves to Him.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children.” Hebrews 12:1-7
I’m by no means perfect and continually have to seek God on a daily basis to fix my eyes on Him so I don’t fall back into old habits.
Maybe you are struggling with feelings of abandonment. Maybe you don’t feel loved. Maybe you don’t feel wanted. Maybe you feel abandoned. Maybe you feel lost. Maybe you feel like you don’t belong. Maybe you feel unworthy. Maybe you feel hopeless. Maybe you feel unsuccessful. Maybe you feel lonely and isolated. Maybe you feel not valued. Maybe you feel lost.
One thing God wants you to know is the exact opposite of this!!
You are loved. You are wanted. You are adored. You are His treasure. You are His beloved. You belong. You are worthy.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
I urge you to seek the Heavenly Father…your identity isn’t defined by your struggles or your past. Your identity is settled at the cross. Allow Jesus to help you overcome your struggles and become more righteous in Him. You are perfect in His eyes and He loves you!! Only He can fill the empty places in your heart of longing to belong and be loved.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17
