Everyday we prayer walk twice for two hours and pray over the bars we’ll be going to later at night for bar ministry. We pray for God to show us where He wants us to go and to direct our steps to a specific person He wants us to minister to and show His love.
Last week as we began our morning prayer walk through the streets of Chiang Mai, I began praying, “God, just show me Your love today.”
We started walking back to meet up with everyone and I’m standing on the curb with three other girls when I feel a hand grab my butt. One of the girls tried pulling me away in time, but it wasn’t soon enough. I thought it might be one of them playing around with me, but as I turn around I see it’s this older Thai man holding onto his beer in one hand and can barely look straight at me.
Jesus?!?! Really?!?! This is how You show me your love? I mean thanks for showing me so soon, but through someone grabbing on me….come on now!? I feel so violated and frustrated! I felt abused and disgusted as all of these feelings came over me….
All I wanted to do was punch him as soon as I turned around, but all I found myself doing was lost in his empty eyes. My heart began to race as I told him, “that’s not appropriate to touch a lady like that.” Then he began to ask me if I wanted a massage (sex). I began to feel my heart change from disgust, anger, bitterness…..to compassion and love for this man I didn’t even know.
One thing I asked God to give me this month is compassion for the men more so than the women. I didn’t want to be angry with this man. I saw the emptiness and inadequacy he felt simply in his eyes. He’s drowning his sorrows in alcohol….numbing himself to his own feelings, those around him, and his own thoughts. I don’t know his story and I don’t need to know it, but what I do know is God loves this man just as much as He loves me.
I began to realize this was God showing me His love….in a different way than I had expected, but this is exactly the love He has for each of us. He still remains the compassionate, loving, caring God He is and His love shines through.
My prayer is God to help me not grow apathetic and numb to the men in this city. Help me to love them just the same….because they need His love too. They need someone willing to reach out to them because they genuinely care about them as a person.
“If I speak in the tonguesof men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinithians 13:1-3
#Lovewell
