this is a snapshot into my life, and the things god is teaching me. i apologize for the lack of context.
kolentsi, ukraine. may 2013.
fasting:
man it's hard. fasting as a spiritual discipline… hmm, i've never practiced it as a regular part of my life. working on it. definitely challenging, there's always a reason not to do it, that's for sure. but the past 2 times i have done it have been extremely revealing. it's amazing how much i think about food on a daily basis. kacie's comment has stuck with me, "your god is your stomach. you feed it whatever it wants". flesh nature. definitely don't want to be owned by anything, even food. also amazing how i feel like i'm entitled to be grumpy when i don't get to eat. yeah, no. the sweets fast has been just as hard, especially in the midst of all these cookies and dutch apple pie and cheesecakes! but it's not really fasting unless you're saying no to something you really want, right? i know God blesses. i know he is growing self control in me. i want it. it's worth it.
fear:
really i'm starting to think fear is a puffed up bully. like in hind's feet on high places, how fear runs away like a little coward with even the slightest challenge. it seems so hard to believe in the moment… i guess that's why fear is effective for satan. i'm definitely afraid about the future. i'm scared of what's going on in the world, especially in the united states. i'm scared of persecution for my faith. i've never really had to face it like for real for real the way i'm pretty much told i will at some point in my life by the bible and the way so many already do around the world. i don't want to. i don't want to suffer for my faith. but i know at the same time that God will give me what i need should that ever become my reality. i know he will be with me. God is faithful. reminds me of conversations amanda and i used to have about what God's protection entails… he never promises "safety" for our physical bodies. but he does promise eternity. he promises that nothing can separate us from his love. he promises to guard my heart and soul. satan can't touch that ever. that's kinda cool.
fight for yourself:
this just keeps coming up. fight. for. yourself. God keeps telling me, over and over again it seems. when i want to wallow or sulk or have a pity party or think my life is my own and want someone to tell me all the right answers or fix it for me. and he's just like, nope. you know the truth. you know the truth. fight for yourself! you don't actually need anyone else to do it for you, and actually other people are not going to do it for you. you claim your own truth, you believe according to the faith i have given you, and you live it out with my strength. not yours, mine. but you can choose. you can choose to put your big girl panties on and fight for yourself.
also, here are a few pictures.
standard team time. ballerinas maybe? i'm broken down for sure and i have no idea about jacquelyn.
carrot cake bigger than my head for my birthday. delectable.
oh you know, casual, just your average fort complete with muffins and squad leaders to watch inception. thanks melanie, you da best.
pierogis in poland. oh yeah, i went to krakow one weekend.
typical. i promise i really do love her 😉
welp, that's all for now.
love julie
​ps. thank you melissa milroy for documenting our lives. i owe you one, or actually lots of ones. and you know val does too 🙂
