Hey ya’ll! So it’s been a little over a month since I’ve updated you last and I’m sorry for that but, I have been loving the life I have here in the Philippines so much that blogging was on the bottom of my list.
Here I sit. Thinking back to about a year ago trying to remember where I was. I had just applied for this crazy thing called The World Race and the scariest thing on my radar was fundraising over $12,000. Fast forward a few months and there was training camp, a lot of goodbyes, and a whole lot of fear of the unknown. Now, here I am. I feel like I just got to Asia and now I’m in month nine. If you would’ve talked to me in the beginning I would’ve never thought this time would come. But, it’s here. As I look back at the last eight months I remember some of the hardest days of my life, some of the most rewarding days, some of the longest days, and some of the hottest days but, above all of those things, I see God’s faithfulness through it all. He has carried me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. This has been the hardest year of my life but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Something I’m reminded of daily is that when Jesus calls you to something, it’s not going to be easy but, it will always be worth it. The costs of following Him are so worth the gain.
Over this year Jesus has grown me in ways I never thought I needed. I’m not saying that to sound prideful or arrogant but coming into the Race I thought it was just going to be a year of living in different cultures and loving on people. Yeah, both those things happened but, it was so much more than that. This has been so much more of a personal journey. Serving our contacts, building relationships, and loving people is all a part of it but, this isn’t a mission’s trip. This is life. I had a conversation this week where this came up. Our life can technically be considered a mission’s trip. You don’t have to leave the country, the state, or even the little town you live in to go on a “mission’s trip”.
I was asked the other day what I’ve learned in the last eight months. Now let me just tell you, that question is the worst. You all can still ask me that question when I get home, I won’t be upset, but it’s definitely a tough one. How in the world am I supposed to sum up all that Jesus has taught me in eight months?! So, to answer the question I chose one thing. I’ve learned and seen firsthand how ministry can be a lifestyle. It’s not something you have to wait for when your youth group goes on their summer mission’s trip. It’s not something you have to raise tons of money for to leave the country for a year. Doing those things are great, I’ve done both of them. What I am saying is, why wait for those things? Find places to serve at home. Maybe that looks like raking your neighbor’s leaves or shoveling their snow. Maybe that looks like helping at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Maybe it’s volunteering with and investing in youth or children at a church every Sunday. Maybe it’s doing the dishes for your mom or helping your dad around the house. Guys, it’s simple! We don’t have to make ministry a big show that we put on for people to see so they think we’re a better Christian or have our life together. Because sorry to burst your bubble but that will never happen. Heck, I’ve been on a “mission’s trip” for almost nine months and I am so far from perfect. Going on a trip like this won’t make someone perfect, but it will grow you and guide you towards striving to be more like Christ in all you do.
As I think about coming home to questions about this I realize how challenging it’s going to be. I was being sarcastic with someone the other day (real shocker, I know) and they asked what I would say when people ask “how was your trip”? My response to that was, “I would just ask them how the last nine months of their life was and see how they like trying to answer that”. Clearly I’m not going to answer you with that if you ask me that question but, it is hard to sum up nine months of life into one answer that covers it all. But hey, we’ll figure that out when we need to. Please don’t read this and let it scare you or lead you to avoiding me when I get home, I promise I will answer any questions you guys have J I’m looking forward to answering questions and sharing stories with people back home.
Enough of the home talk; here’s a quick little update of what my days look like here at Kids International Ministries. First of all, when I was in Africa I thought that was my favorite country. And up until that point, it was. In each country we’ve been in I always found myself calling where I was home. It was what felt right. But when I got to the Philippines, it was different. I can’t put into words the joy and contentment that my heart has found here. I genuinely feel like this is my home. It’s not the same kind of home that I felt in El Salvador and Malawi. It’s different. I can’t totally explain why or how it’s different, it just is. This is home. It’s like the song by Switchfoot that says, “This is home, now I’m finally where I belong”. I feel like I’m right where I belong. Not that I didn’t in the last two places but this feels right. I’m not saying I’m going to live in the Philippines for the rest of my life but this place has a big piece of my heart and I will be back. I don’t know when or for how long, but I have a feeling that Jesus is bringing me back here to this place I call home; whether that’s bringing a team here or coming alone, I couldn’t be more excited to walk out the path and plan that Jesus has for me.
Each day we have “scheduled” ministry from 9-4 but, it isn’t ministry that feels like a chore to me. I get up each morning excited. Excited to see the JAZ girls, community girls, and toddlers. Ministry has gone from a Race-style to a lifestyle. In Africa I learned how simple serving can be and how it doesn’t need to be made into a big show and that is exactly what it’s like here. My days normally have some swimming involved, doing puzzles, playing games, riding bikes, coloring, reading, etc. and it’s all so simple. All these children want is someone to spend time with them, invest in them, care about them, and love them. It’s exhausting some days, but it’s simple and so rewarding.
The JAZ girls are girls that have been raped or sexually abused by men in their lives (fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.). They have been taken out of their homes and those situations and now live under the care of the daughter of the couple that founded KIM. These girls are incredible. If you meet them, you would have no idea what they have been through unless you were told ahead of time. They have brought so much joy and laughter to my life and Jesus has allowed me to give a piece of my heart to these girls. It’s been cool to see how when I first got here I thought I was going to be spending all my time with the toddlers and now, I wait every day for the JAZ girls to walk through the gate and give me hugs. These girls have taught me so much. They’ve taught me how much joy comes from swimming in a pool or simply sitting and jamming out to some High School Musical. They’ve taught me that everything is a choice. We can choose to let our pasts hold us back from what Jesus has for us in the future or, we can choose to let it go to Jesus and chase after all that He has for us. Speaking from my own life, that choice is a lot harder than that sentence just made it sound but I do know that Jesus has so much freedom for us from the things of our past. And these girls are great examples of the freedom that He offers. They are beautiful on the inside and out and they are some of the strongest, most encouraging girls I have met in my life. They’re awesome.
We just finished two months of all squad month and a week ago we were told that we were getting new teams and all but eight people were leaving to go to different contacts for the last month before our final debrief. A couple weeks ago I sat down with our two leaders and just shared where my heart was with this place. I had shared with them that there was a JAZ girl who was getting surgery and they needed people to do hospital shifts to stay with her and how I would love to be able to do that. I didn’t have this conversation to try and talk my way into staying here at KIM, I had it to share with them what Jesus was doing in my heart for these girls. As we were in our little meeting to find out where we were going I was so nervous. Not nervous to go to another place but nervous because if I was leaving that meant saying goodbye to all the people here that have stolen my heart. But, yet again, Jesus had my back. They announced my team of eight and I knew. I’m staying at KIM for the last month of my race and I couldn’t be more excited. My heart filled with so much joy in that moment. Half of the JAZ girls have been at a camp for the past two weeks and right when they said that I got so excited because I will get to see them again. As nervous as I was going into this meeting, coming out of it I learned that I never have a reason to doubt Jesus. There’s nothing in this world that should and could ever lead me to doubt His faithfulness. Even if He would’ve moved me to another location, His faithfulness wouldn’t have changed. I talked to one of my leaders after our meeting and she told me that when I was sharing my heart with them Jesus gave them immediate peace about me staying here. There was no question involved, when I shared where I was, they knew. How cool is that? Jesus knows what’s going to happen before it is even on our radar to happen. My life is in His hands. I am so excited for what this next month holds for me here at KIM and all that Jesus has for me.
As close as being back in Pennsylvania is, it hasn’t distracted me from my time here. Coming into Asia I was really worried about wishing my time away or just running through my days to get them over with but Jesus has done the exact opposite. Jesus has changed my heart and my outlook on the Race. It’s hard for me to totally understand my feelings so bear with me here. But, I don’t want to come home. Yeah I said it. The Julie that cried when she left home in September and didn’t want to go is the same Julie that just typed out those words. There’s no other explanation for it besides Jesus has changed my heart. That might sound cliché but it’s the only good way I can explain it. Going home doesn’t necessarily scare me but, it doesn’t excite me. My biggest fear of going home is falling back into routine. Routines aren’t bad but, they scare me. After this year I have realized that I can do anything that I want to. I don’t mean that in a rebellious way but in the way of saying that I don’t have to follow what the world says I need to do to become successful.
To try and give some clarity to where I’m at with home this is what I tell people; If everyone from home could fly here and meet me here, that would be perfect. I don’t miss home as a general thing but I do miss the people from there. As the days come to a close here on the race, I am realizing that my heart is ready to see my people from home. The goodbyes here are going to be harder than I can explain but I know that I have amazing people waiting for me back home to help me through this. I am constantly reminded of how good Jesus is to me.
This year is one that I will never forget and although the race ends in 34 days (yeah… that’s insane) my walk with Jesus continues on. It’s not just something I want to check off my list and move on; I want to carry all that this year has taught me, challenged me with, rewarded me with, and grown me in, with me wherever I go. Jesus is the same in Central America, Africa, Asia, and America. He is constant no matter where I am. This line from the song Seasons Change is one that I am holding close as another season of change is coming my way. It says, “Though the seasons change, Your love remains, Your love remains.” No matter how much change happens in my life, Jesus will always remain the same. Nothing will ever change that. I have found so much peace in those words over this year and I’m holding them close as I get ready to transition into life back home.
So there you have it; the long overdue update on my life here in the Phil. Jesus has brought me so far in these past nine months and I can’t thank each one of you enough for the support you have given me since day one.
Prayer Requests
-My dear friend and teammate, Anna, went home a few days ago to be with her family after she got the news that her four year old nephew was hit by a car as he was playing outside and ran across the street. He passed away shortly before she got home. Please be praying for her and her family as they grieve the loss of their sweet son, nephew, and brother, Logan. She was and will always be a part of our family and as hard as it was to see her go, we know that she’s right where she needs to be and we’re thankful for the opportunity we had to do life with such an incredible woman like her for eight months. Anna, we love you and are praying for you daily!
-Pray for my heart as I prepare to transition back home. Like I said, it’s not going to be easy, in fact it’s going to be really challenging for me. Pray that I would be open to talking through all that I saw, learned, and experienced and not shut people out and shut down. Pray that I wouldn’t forget all that Jesus has done in and through me and that I wouldn’t get caught up in living the “American lifestyle” but instead, that I would continue to be bold in my faith in all that I do.
-Pray that I will cherish my last days here with the people Jesus has blessed me with in this season of life on the race in general and here in the Philippines.
Thanks for following my life over these past nine months. Ya’ll are great.
peace and blessings from the Phil,
Jules
