Love is a choice. Yes, we are commanded to love one another but, we are also given free will which comes with a choice. We can wake up each morning and choose that we are going to live today to do what pleases us and not care about anyone or anything else, or we can choose to live selflessly and take on the challenge to love others the way Christ loves.
I have learned that when I look to Jesus for the love to show others, it’s such a real and sweet love. The love we feel in our flesh is of the world. I want to love with a love that comes from Jesus and overflows out of me. Through the past two weeks I have been questioning God on how I can keep myself in check with making sure I love others with that kind of love. I’ve gotten the overwhelming and reoccurring response from Him of, “run 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 through your mind in every situation”. I went and read those verses and since the time of reading them and truly soaking in what they were saying, I have caught myself in situations where I am becoming frustrated and I will run the words through my mind; “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth runs out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” It’s amazing the difference I see in my attitude and actions when I stop and run these words of life and truth through my mind. So cool.
This isn’t something that I have mastered overnight because lets be real; that would be too easy. It’s a daily choice I have to make and it’s something that I have to work on to make myself aware of because it’s so easy to fall away from having a heart of Jesus’ sweet love. I fail a lot but I know that I have His grace pouring over me and for that I am so thankful.
I am in the middle of learning that Jesus is the one that demonstrates perfect love. And He has that perfect love for me; His daughter. This past week my whole squad (40 people) have been together living in a hostel by the beach for our debrief and it has been a much needed week of relaxation. The other night at our session we split men and women and the women sat in small groups and passed pieces of paper around and we wrote things that Jesus sees in each person in our group. Getting my paper back was so encouraging but for some reason these past few days, I have had a hard time seeing myself the way that Jesus sees me. A few things that were written from Jesus were “cherished”, “sought after”, “pursued”, “My child”. Then on top of that trying to wrap my mind around how much He loves me. Jesus loves me so much that He died a brutal death on the cross just so I could be washed clean of my sins; He loves me so much that even when I screw up His love doesn’t change; His love is unconditional and never ending; He loves me more than I can comprehend and all of these aspects of His love are completely perfect. The past two days I have had a hard time believing that the maker of the universe seeks after me, pursues me, calls me His child, and loves me with such a perfect love. I know that those are all true but there’s something in me that is keeping me from walking in those truths and truly believing them about myself. I can’t finish writing this by saying I have it all figured out and I’ve realized what is keeping me from believing them because I haven’t gotten there yet. I’m still processing through everything. I’m still asking God what is holding me back from seeing myself the way He sees me. It’s hard going through each day longing to know what’s holding me back and not being aware of it but I am trusting that Jesus will reveal to me what it is in the perfect timing that I need it. I’ll be totally honest, it’s so hard trusting in that but I know that He is faithful and He will come through.
Love is…..
Patient and kind.
A choice we make every day.
Something that Jesus will never stop showing me.
So sweet and beautiful when it comes from Jesus and not our flesh.
Every day here is another piece to my journey with Jesus and through the hard, challenging as well as the good, rewarding times I hold tight to His hand that is stretched out for me because I need Him through it all. I’m incredibly thankful for Him and His faithfulness and I am trusting that He will reveal to me what’s holding me back in time.
//His timing > my timing//
A quick update for you: My team is being moved from our host to be with the team here at the beach for the remainder of our time in El Salvador. There has been a lot that has gone into this decision and if you have questions about any of it feel free to ask me and I will be happy to fill you in a little more. But I would like to ask for prayer for my team as well as the team of 7 girls (yep you counted right; 13 girls living together!) that we are moving in with as this transition is going to be challenging. We know that it is going to be rewarding and being moved is moving us into a time of more growth and that Jesus has good in this time of change. I have learned that when I get comfortable with where I am, I don’t find growth in that same place. This change is going to be healthy for me and I’m excited for all that God has for me in this new place. I would also like to ask for prayer for my heart; that I would continue pressing into finding out what is holding me back from believing the things that Jesus sees me in and being able to see myself in those ways as well. Thank you for your continued prayers and support; they mean so much to me as I continue my time here on the field.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stories and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.”
||He has a plan for every season He brings me into.||
