I wanted to change my blog up a little bit this week and share a story with you about a beautiful woman named Rose.
This past week we were able to visit the widows that meet beside our church. It was my first time being back with them since seeing them in December. I was excited to see them again but was also not feeling very good so I was a little eh about going.
On our drive there I started asking Jesus for my daily request; to show me the joy He had for me in this day.
When we got there we did the usual singing and dancing which was then followed by a testimony from one of the girls I’m living with, Annie. I was giving the short message after her and Jesus had me talking about true beauty. He gave me the verse from 1 Peter 3 that talks about how instead of being concerned about outward beauty we should be clothing ourselves with the beauty that comes from within and how that’s so precious to God. I shared with them how I have struggled in the past with looking to the world for approval and for others to call me beautiful but how I’m learning that God’s approval is all I truly need and He calls me beautiful. I told them how the materialistic things that this world calls “beautiful” don’t matter. I told them that I saw them as incredibly strong woman who continue to find so much joy even when challenges come their way. And I finished by telling them that this unending joy that they have, that’s beautiful. The way they live to glorify God, that’s beautiful. I reminded them to never forget their identity in Christ. They are His daughters. They are His bride. They are chosen by Him. They are beautiful.
When I finished, I knew that the words spoken were from Jesus because a few minutes before I started, I had zero idea of what I was going to say. He had what these women needed to hear and chose me that day to be His voice. Seeing the faces of the widows while I was sharing made me smile because I could see that they were grasping that Jesus sees them as true beautiful women. And this was just the start of the joy that Jesus had for me on this day.
After the program was over we had two hours until church started so we decided to hang out with the widows talking, taking pictures, and dancing. The dancing wasn’t planned but my teammate Kaela and I were just being weird (which is totally normal for us) and started dancing like a bunch of fools. Little did we know, this random dancing we were doing in the corner of the room was about to start a two hour long dance party.
As we were dancing, Rose picked me out of the group and I saw her start making faces at me while she was dancing so what did I do? Well of course I had to make faces back at her. So there we were, in the middle of this dance circle of widows and World Racers dancing in some of the funniest ways and exchanging the best faces. At one point we were squatting like a frog and hopping around to a song. Rose saw me attempt this frog dance and she fell to the floor laughing. I mean, who wouldn’t laugh at a white girl hopping around the room like a frog? Just try to picture that and I bet you’ll even get a good laugh out of it.
We had been dancing for about an hour and Rose sat down because she was getting tired from all our dancing. I was standing a little bit in front of her and what happened next is a memory of this women that I will hold so close. I turned around to see her patting her lap saying, “my child, my child”. She called me over to sit on her lap. This little old woman wanted me to sit on her lap. With the biggest smile on my face I run over to her and sit on her lap and she wrapped her arms around me and continues to say “my child”. I looked at her and pointed at her and said, “Grandma Rose” and her face lit up; she got a big smile. It was such a sweet moment. We sat there without saying a word after that and we were so content simply sitting with each other.
At one point, she had both Kaela and I sitting on her lap because she didn’t want to make one of us jealous because the other was getting to sit on her lap. Such a grandma thing for sure. This was just funny to see because as you can tell in this picture… we were clearly too big to be sitting on her lap.
A few minutes later she got up and left for a little bit so I sat in the chair. When I saw her walking back over I looked at her and patted my lap and said “Grandma Rose, come sit!” I couldn’t help but laugh as she came walking over with the cutest, cheesiest smile on her face; she was so excited. So there we sat again, only this time she sat on my lap. My heart was so full. I could have left with that and been completely content but, Jesus had more for me; my dose of joy for the day wasn’t over yet.
As things were starting to wrap up before church, Rose and I sat beside each other while others were talking and taking pictures. I knew she didn’t speak much English but I went ahead and attempted to ask some questions. I asked if she had any children and she told me that she had four; three boys and one girl. Wow. This woman is not only a widow but she is also taking care of four children on her own. She makes bags, scarves, bracelets, clothes, etc. to sell to help provide food for them. She has to put all her trust in God to provide for her and her children’s needs. She doesn’t have very much and yet the joy for life that she has in incredible. In the little she has, she continues to find so much to thank God for every day. So often I can take all that I am blessed with for granted. Since being on this trip I have learned to not do that because I’ve realized how much of a blessing it is to have water all the time, to have a washer AND a dryer, to have electricity all the time, to have more than six shirts and five pairs of pants, and so much more. Because I’m blessed with so much I can often stop trusting God with every part of my life because I feel like I have everything I need to get by. Grandma Rose gave me a picture of what it looks like to find the joy in life and what it looks like to fully trust God with every part of me no matter what the world offers. Nothing this world can offer will ever fulfill me like Jesus does.
Before I got up to leave for church she called my host sister, Sharon, over to translate something. She said, “Please be praying for me and my children. Don’t forget me when you go home”. When I heard this all I wanted to do was go home with Grandma Rose and live with her so she would truly know that I would never forget her. I told her that I would be praying for them and I assured her that I would never forget her. I thanked her for dancing with me and I told her how much joy she brought to me. She got a big smile and then asked, “Do you remember my name?” I had to hold back a laugh because I thought that question was a little crazy. Of course I remember her name! I looked at her and pointed and said, “Grandma Rose!” Her face lit up once again and she got a big smile. As I was walking out I gave her a hug and reminded her of my name and as I got to the door I heard her turn around to the other women and say, “Julie!!” with so much excitement. I smiled and walked out of that room more full of JOY than I think ever before.
Once church was over we drove home and as I sat in the bus, Jesus whispered to me. He said, “You know when Grandma Rose called you over and said, ‘my child, my child’ and invited you to sit on her lap? I painted that picture to give you an image of what it looks like when I call to you. You are My child and I eagerly want you to sit on my lap and find contentment in simply sitting in My embrace. You might’ve been too big to sit on her lap but you will never outgrow Mine, I promise.” I sat in our little minibus with a smile on my face as I held that image in my head. When Grandma Rose called me I ran to her with such excitement. That’s what Jesus wants; He wants me to be more than excited to run to Him. His arms are always open and I’m never too big to sit on the lap of my Father. Just thinking about that makes my heart so happy. The day that I am face to face with my Daddy you best believe I’m going to run to Him and jump on His lap and allow Him to hold me!
Jesus hears my prayers. He see me. He knows me. He loves me. He is my Father, I am His child. My prayer each day of, “Jesus, show me the joy you have for me today”, is one of the simplest prayers but Jesus answers it in such big ways.
Grandma Rose is a perfect example of true beauty. She doesn’t care what others think about her. She doesn’t look to the world to tell her if she’s “good enough”. She knows how Jesus sees her. She knows that she is loved by the King. She knows that He approves of her. She knows who she is in Jesus. And all of those characteristics make Rose truly beautiful.
As I danced with her I realized that I wasn’t looking around for other people to give me approval or to tell me what I was doing was funny or cool. I was simply being the Julie that Jesus created me to be. Dancing with Rose showed me that I do have confidence in myself. Whether she knows it or not, she taught me so much that day simply through dancing like a bunch of weirdos. It’s so cool how Jesus works!
This day has been one of my favorites of the Race so far. A few weeks ago I was having a hard time being away from home and I was faced with a lot of challenges. But as I sat with Rose, Africa became home. My heart was content with where Jesus had me.
My heart was content with where Jesus had me; that might sound familiar. I have been praying and asking for prayer that I would be content with where He has me for this season of life. Jesus answers prayers. He cares about me. I want to encourage you with that. Your prayers aren’t too small. Jesus hears them all. He might not answer them right away but He will answer them in His perfect timing. I have been praying for the specific thing for over a month and here I am with only two weeks left in this country and my heart is now content with where I am. His timing is greater than ours. He sees you too. He knows you too. And, He loves you too. One of the many things I’ve learned this year is, don’t underestimate the power of prayer.
Grandma Rose will forever be remembered as the strong, beautiful woman of God who has some pretty sweet dance moves and some of the best weird faces I’ve ever seen. That’s a pretty good way to be remembered if I do say so myself. I will forever be thankful for meeting this woman and being able to create this relationship with her.
”Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1
