Have you ever wondered what it would take to live a life without regrets? The last few months I have been asking myself this question, and I still have yet to come up with a concrete answer. Coming home from the Race has been harder than I thought. It's been difficult to come home to virtually no community, at least not the community that I've become used to. I miss my squad, I miss my team, I miss ministry, I miss having people speak life over me and prophesying into my life. I even miss feedback.
Living without community is like living without water. You can go for a while and be fine but eventually you will get sick and die. I feel parched without my community. I feel dry, like I'm in a desert. I long for the past, but know that I cannot go back. That the only steps are steps forward. Steps of faith when I can't see whats ahead of me and I desperately miss what has been. I replay the Race over in my mind. I look at the times when i could have changed my attitude. I look at the many moments when I missed ministry opportunities because I got in the way and decided that I was more important. I long to go back and do it over again. To make up for the time lost, to say the words that needed to be said, to share life with people, to BE Jesus to the people that I meet, even if I become completely exhausted and spent because of it. When I am weak, then He is strong.
I am in the process of finding community while I'm at home for the next few months. I'm looking out for those moments of ministry, no matter how small. Jesus is living inside of me and people need to see Him, to hear His words. I refuse to live with regrets when I can take captive every moment and see God turn it into His moment. Those are the moments that miracles are made of.
After that my next step of faith will be to travel to Spain for a six month leadership training school. My desire is to start a non-profit organization that focuses on community development and education. Please consider helping me to see this dream come alive. You can help by visiting http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate.
Thank you!
