I’m so full of joy right now I can’t even begin to describe it. My heart could burst from happiness yet if you look at my circumstances it doesn’t make sense. Yesterday I moved out all of my furtniture and stuff into a storage locker. I am currently sleeping on the floor of my apartment on a borrowed sleeping mat, with a box as my nightstand. I don’t know where I will be living in a month. I will be living on couches of others and relying on their kindness until the Abba reveals the next step.
I should be freaking out.
I should be stressing and crying an throwing fits.
Not that I haven’t done that. I have. Big tears, snot bubbles, babbling incoherently. (It wasn’t pretty).
I threw a pity party for myself and was quite offended when Jesus didn’t throw confetti at my pity party with me.
Instead, Jesus soothed this panicking heart of mine and filled it with peace. And with joy. With me kicking and screaming some of the time. It is interesting how we can fight against peace and joy because of our own silly, fickle feelings.
God is doing some major revamping of stuff in my life. Stripping away everything else I had relied on so that I literally have nothing else but Him. I don’t have a car, I don’t have a place to live, people will and do fail me. All of these things I have been counting on for security are being taken.
The great thing is that in the place of these things God has placed a confidence in His plan for me. A plan for kindness. A plan for provision. A plan for wholeness and a future.
I am so grateful for these things and I am in awe that these truthes are mine. But more than that I realize that no matter what I FEEL God is faithful. And He loves me.
Someone prayed over me yesterday and she said “God wants you to know that He is with you. So whereever you are, because God’s with you you’re good.”
These words are ringing true in my heart and I am overflowing with joy.
Emmanuel!! God WITH us. And I am thankful.
