The other day, we talked about re-entry and preparing for life at home – the questions and responses we will receive, the emotions we may have, the difficulties, the frustrations, etc.
I feel ready to go home – not in a bad way, like I have to get out of this environment, but in a good way, like I know this is coming to an end and I am ok with that. I am excited to see people back home. But at the same time, every time I think about leaving these people, the tears come; it takes my breath away, like someone just slugged me in the gut. Will I really be able to live without these people? These people who know me inside and out. These people that have stood by my side for the entire year – through the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. I know I have to, I just can’t really imagine it. Will I get frustrated with the American lifestyle? Will I be able to love the people in America as much as I loved the orphans in Africa, the women in Thailand, and all the incredible people I have connected with along the way. Will I get stuck in a whirlwind of questions of how peoples’ lives can be so incredibly different; the apparent injustice. Will I trust God that where He has me at when I get home is just as significant as the places He has had me this past year? This one may be the hardest.
Just as it took me several months to learn to live in the intense community and conditions that I have live in the past 11 months, it will surely take me several months to figure out how to live in the states again. Only this time I am changed. I hope living there now will look different than living there before.
I seriously can’t wait to see everyone. Thank you all for the ways you have supported me this year. Please continue to pray one last time. I feel like I need you all as much as ever, as I make this transition and as I trust God to take me one step of a time into the future.
