My hope for myself as I went out for this year expedition is that the Lord would completely wreck me for Him and for His Kingdom. I want to be completely changed and transformed, so much so that I could never go back to a life of complacency. I want to be unbelievably dangerous for God and what He is doing in this world. I want power and passion.
With this hope on my heart, I have been trying to figure out what
I have to
do or how I can make certain that these things happen. I look at the January teams, who are 7 months in and I think about where I want to be in 7 months. I do not want to go home unchanged, or even a little changed. I can not go back the same. As I was thinking all these things, I kept saying to myself, OK, I can die to myself in this way, or I am not going to do that, or I am going to focus more on this. Goals are great, but as I was going through these things, I heard God gently whisper, “Julie, it is not about what you
do.” “I know God, but I just so badly want to be sold out for you. I want to be there.” Again, he whispers, “Julie, let me work in you. I am doing something. Be patient and let me complete this in you. Just be.”
My Father spoke, and I will listen. I trust what He is doing, and I know that He is working in me. I think I am used to the mindset of doing. Everything is about what I do or what I can offer. Isn’t it so amazing that our God does not focus on what we
do? He cares for each of us so incredibly deeply, that He just wants to BE with us. He just wants to refine us and bring us into our most true self. I am so thankful for that. And I am thankful that as He is working in me, He will use me in the lives of other people that He cares for just as intensely.
I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -Philippians 1:6
