Experience this with me. Imagine walking into a room – darkness, screaming music, obscene blinking lights, rancid smells, extreme pain and no hope. This was something we experienced at training camp. This was one of the hardest things I went through. It was called the NO HOPE room and that was exactly what it emanated. Darkness and evil, hurt, pain and brokenness – overwhelmingly concentrated in one room. In one corner a man railed abuse at his wife. Anger swallowed him as he beat her with a lifetime of pain. She curled up in belief that this is what she was worth and this is the life she deserved. A young mother sat in the middle of a garbage heap, holding her newborn baby. Nowhere to go, nothing to turn to, no way out. A man rolled on the ground, drowning all his problems in his drukenness. A man turned to drugs – he couldn’t get enough, it was his lifeline. He needed those drugs. A woman clothed in shame, yet wearing very little and offering herself. She danced and lived to please the men that used her, objectified her and gave nothing but false love. Another, lay on the floor in a puddle of despair. Grasping for the pills that held life in their existance. So desparate, that ending life was less painful than living life. Longing to destroy the pain and end the torture. And another…a girl staring in the mirror. In rage, recording the lies that the world has fed her – she is ugly; she is fat; she is nothing; she cannot be loved. There are men and woman circling around, yelling and screaming – “Leave, you can do nothing. You have nothing to offer.”
How do you feel? I walked out of that room feeling the most hopeless I have ever felt, tears streaming down. For the first time I thought “I cannot go on this trip.” Yes I have my fears and insecurities, but this was different. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Can I love these people? Do I have anything to offer? How can
I point them toward Christ? After discussing our feelings, we went back into the room. We offered anything we could – a word of hope, a sign of love, a touch of worthiness – just holding and hugging the people. It was not easy, they were not ready to accept our love after years of building up walls and hiding in pain and rejection.
I wanted to listen to the people yelling at me to get out. It hurts to enter into another’s pain. Am I strong enough to go there? Am I willing to be saturated in their brokenness? But then I find rest….
God is bigger. The beauty is that
I
do not have anything to offer, but Jesus can offer everything. And it will hurt, but our Father strongly desires to heal. God is bigger than any lonliness, any hurt, any pain. He desires to enter into our brokenness. He can bring hope to the most hopeless situation – that is comforting. Rest in that.
Do you see the pain around you? Our society tells us to hide our pain; to bury our sin; to suppress our dark places. Look for the people around you that need God’s love – all of us do. You never know what is beneath the surface.
LOVE…Because He first loved.
