Well. I finally did it. I PREACHED! I guess you could call it that anyways : ) If you know me well, you know that this is a huge deal. I don't like speaking in front of groups. I actually really really hate it and it's kind of one of my worst nightmares. I've been putting it off for 4 1/2 months and avoiding it because it was one of my biggest fears coming on to the race. There was always somebody else willing to do it so I always got out of it and never had to worry about it. Well this month, we do revivals every single night so there was absolutely no getting out of it. I joked about trying to get someone to do it for me, but deep down I was ready. So…I thought it was fitting to preach on allowing God to use our weaknesses. I talked about Moses and how he felt unqualified for the task God laid in front of him. But that God didn't care about his strengths, he just wanted him to be available. And look at all the incredible things God did through him all because he was willing to be used! I also talked about in 2 Corinthians when Paul talked about how he delights in his weaknesses because in those times God makes him strong. And how our lives would look different if we stopped making excuses and stopped avoiding our fears and weaknesses and embraced them and allowed God to use them. The basic message was that if God can overcome my fears and weaknesses that I am fully confident he could do the same for the members of that church. Now this was by no means a long sermon, or a very detailed sermon. Actually quite the opposite. It was pretty simple and really short. BUT in this season of life God has been teaching me a lot about finding and using my voice. So I was obedient and I finally used it. For so long I have believed these lies about myself that my voice doesn't matter, what I have to say isn't important, and that people don't really care about what I have to say. That it is okay to sit back in silence and let others always do the work. I have had a couple of wonderful people in my life on this race that have constantly been pouring into me helping me fight these lies. I could never ever thank them enough for not ever giving up on me. I know I probably frustrated them at times. The Lord has been using them to help me see the beauty inside myself and all the things I'm capable of. But even though I have been hearing these things for last 4 1/2 months, this is the month that I can say that I truely truely believe them, and truely believe in myself and that MY VOICE MATTERS! Through Kenya and the amazing people here, God has been doing some amazing things in my heart. I have done things I never thought I would or could do. For example: Preaching, actually enjoying door to door evangelism, giving my testimony at a crusade that was in the middle of the street in the middle of a slum, going by myself with a translater and talking to a precious woman for 45 minutes telling her her value and worth and leading her to Christ, dancing in public, praying for lots and lots of people with confidence, oh and sharing the gospel with strangers on a daily basis multiple times a day. Who is this person? haha. I am not the same person that left the U.S. in July. God is changing me, stretching me, and using me in ways I never dreamed possible. I LOVE IT!
　
p.s. Here is a video for your entertainment. My conclusion about preaching is that everyone's first time should be in an African church. It is such a confidence booster! After I was done, I wasn't feeling to great about how it went, thinking I should have said this or this or done this different. BUT then Pastor Kimani, our host pastor for the month, did this. He always gets loud and excited after every sermon. What you see on the video went on for at least 30 minutes. I guess he was super inspired by my simple message. I'm only telling you this because it's cool to think that even though I thought I did terrible…I at least inspired one person who then got the whole church going crazy giving praise to God. Nothing I could ever do but Christ in me all because I was obedient 🙂
