HEY EVERYONE! Check out my awesome teammate Raquel Stewart‘s blog at http://raquelstewart.theworldrace.org/
There comes a time in your life when you come to a realization: you are a child. Now you have three choices. One, you can deny it. This first option you can claim blissful ignorance, always demand the respect you deserve, and prove in any way you deem fit to show you are a mature adult. You may not even be consciously aware that you came to the realization but subconsciously it constantly tingles at the back of your brain and you live your life trying to prove you are fully mature and wise in this world. This first option allows people who chose option 2 to most likely see you for the adult you want to be, however option 3 people will see you for the child you are.
Your second option: You are aware of this realization but in defiance you embrace the child in you. You are Peter Pan and his group of lost boys. You never want to grow up and continue down the path you have been walking, this time fully aware and planning how to use your newly recognized traits to get you where and what you want. In choosing this option, people who chose option one and who chose three will recognize and acknowledge the child in you.
The third choice: As in option 2 you realize that you are a child, but instead of remaining stagnant as in the first two choices, you acknowledge who you are and choose to grow from it. You humble yourself, learn from your mistakes, and grow. You also realize that you will always be a child. Even if you mature, there is always room to grow and learn. Maturity isn’t the end of the race, there isn’t a drawing line that once you reach, you’re good for the rest of your life. You will always make mistakes, you will always stumble, and you will fail constantly. However, you will also pick yourself back up, you will stand, and you will move forward. You will keep advancing. Finally, you realize that you yourself cannot do any of this. There is only one who can help you pick yourself up, to stand, and to move forward. The one who saw you as a baby and who will watch over you and guide you into a full mature person physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” -1 Corinthians 13:11
This last month I was in Kanchanaburi, Thailand. I was with a wonderful family, Pang and Arun, with their daughter Mary helping with farming and teaching English to the local community. It was so peaceful and tranquil there, very refreshing to my soul.
(My group of boys who I taught English to)
Yet, during my time there, I also discovered a very ugly side to myself: I am a child. I always have to be right, I am very selfish, I am jealous, and a little bit self-absorbed. After a few weeks I noticed that my main motivation for my actions and words were for my own well-being; I only prayed for myself, I did things so I could get noticed or received positive feedback on, I hate it when people disagree with what I say so I will argue until they cave, and when others are blessed I wonder why it wasn’t me.
“Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.” -1 Corinthians 14:20
When I noticed this, I was appalled and ashamed of myself. I wanted to hide it all and change who I was. Why couldn’t my motives be pure? Why couldn’t I sincerely be happy when God blesses others instead? Why did it always have to be about me? I am a child!
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” -2 Timothy 2:22
This is not acceptable in any shape or size. I hate what I saw in myself and wanted to change it. Yet the more I thought about how to do it, the more it seemed impossible, a mountain too high. How do you change yourself? If it was a bad habit, thats one thing. You would have accountability partners and a acutal action to stop. But when its a aspect of your personality, part of your essence, how do you change yourself? I often imagined how others did it, like Ebeneezer Scrooge. He had ghosts to help so that’s no help to me. Spoiler alert. Ghosts are not real. More were a part of a situation that changed their viewpoint, like a war or a healing. All I know is that I can not do it myself.
“Do not conform to the patter of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:2
The only person that can help me is the one who created me. He did not create me to be selfish but selfless. He did not create me to be jealous but to love. He did not create me to be domineering but serving. He created me to be filled with grace, to be blessed, to be pure, kind, confident, joyful, positive, funny, like-able, caring, hopeful, dependable, dedicated, unique, important, courageous, and, most important of all, forgiven.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” -Galatians 5:22-23
How I was acting is totally opposite of the nature God made me to be. I have saddened him greatly by being less than what he made and called me to be, but he loves me so much he forgave me. He also will guide me down the path to him, to maturity in every aspect of my life. He will not leave me to stay stagnant, but when I cry out to him, he will offer me discipline and guidance so I will grow in him.
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24
I’m still nowhere close to being mature, far from it. But I have someone who lights my path, teaches me how to stand, how to move forward, how to advance. This is a life-long journey that I am going to enjoy with my father.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God.” -Philippians 1:9-11
